In Constant Prayer

The Scream -- Sermon for Epiphany IV, Year B

2012-01-29T11:26:00.000-08:00

Edvard Munch -- The Scream -- 1893 The National Gallery, Oslo, Norway

Epiphany IV

Holy Cross Monastery

Deuteronomy 18:15-20

Psalm 111

1Corinthians 8:1-13

Mark 1:14-20

The Scream

Reading the Gospel of Mark is a bit like reading a set of Cliff Notes—and a paired down version at that. It is a fast moving Gospel, details are spotty, and years worth of events get packed into a few sentences. In this opening chapter to Mark’s Gospel we go from the Messianic Predictions of Isaiah to John the Baptist and Christ Baptism, His wilderness temptation, the launch of His Galilean Ministry, the calling of His first disciples and immediately into a series of healings and miracles. These opening 45 verses to Mark’s Gospel gives us a sweeping overview of Christ life and ministry. Reading it is like watching a movie trailer to an action packed adventure. Even those great beings who devised our Revised Common Lectionary seem to understand there would be much to unpack in this core narrative of the Good News. There are a total of six Sundays in Epiphany. However five out of six Sundays give us Gospel lessons from the first chapter of Mark.

Todays lesson brings us to Capernaum, where we find Jesus teaching in the synagogue. And in the middle of His discourse He is interrupted by a deranged man yelling out at Jesus. The text paints the picture of a demon possessed heckler who is no longer in control of his own body. The evil spirit is now speaking through the man. But we are given the fewest of details and I find myself wishing to know a few more facts to better understand the story.

1. Why was this man in the synagogue? Demon possession was a sure sign that you are unclean, impure and not worthy of presenting yourself in the synagogue. In the first century those who have mentally lost it lived out by the tombs, in the cemeteries or in the desert wilderness. Most of the demon possessed people that Jesus encountered during His earthly ministry dwelled in one of these “outer” places. In fact these were the places feared and avoided at all cost. When it was time to bury the dead you got in and out of the cemetery as quickly as possible. If you lingered your chances of encountering an evil spirit increased. Or worse yet, you may pick up a demon who goes back home with you.

2. What kind of evil spirit did this man have? What was it nature and character? It isn’t made clear to us what the mans unnatural or pathological state was. Did he suffer addictions or was he bi-polar? Was he completely schizophrenic or did he still have some hold on reality? Was he a victim of abuse? Did he come from a broken home or a loving home? Did he know he was lovable and loved in God’s eyes? Had anyone ever taught him to have self-compassion?

Or maybe it was something simple and far more common—something experienced by all of humanity. Did he suffer from the non-stop commentary, those internal voices of on-going negativity and judgement, running in his head. The Church Fathers called it Sin. The Church Mystics called it Brokenness and The Human Condition. It is the universal fate we have all been born to. Quite possibly our deranged heckler was traversing the dark night of sense and his outcry was more of a cry for help. Edvard Munch’s classic painting of an impressionistic landscaped with a lone dark figure standing in the foreground whose hands cover his ears as if to say stop the inner voices, with mouth wide open is a painting of both stunning beauty and stark reality. The painting is simply titled “The Scream.” And it is a painting that we have all found ourselves living in at some point in our lives.

Our questions could go on. The list of unanswered details are endless. Mark did not write with the agenda of giving us a complete picture. Instead he leaves us with an open invitation. An invitation to write the details of our lives into the story. If this is the story of the “good news of Jesus Christ, the Son of God,” then it must be a story we can write ourselves into. It must be a story we can identify ourselves in.

Not that long ago as a green and “wet-behind-the-ears” novice I posed a question to my Novice Master in a novitiate class. I asked “where have all the demons gone?”. The response was a quizzical look, as if to say “what are you talking about?”. Well, in the life and times of Jesus and in the life and times of the early Church there seemed to be a strong focus on Satan and his minions—the demons. But in our post-critical age of scientific enlightenment we don’t talk much about demons. Respectable Anglicans can go decades without experiencing a good smiting of the devil. We don’t even seem to poke fun at the devil in our culture the way we did in times past. Long gone are the days of comedian Flip Wilson and his character “Geraldine” and that classic line “the devil made me do it.” Long gone are the days of Dana Carvey’s “The Church Lady” from Saturday Night Live who week after week had the recurring epiphany “Could It Be Satan?”.

But maybe our consciousness is changing. Earlier this week I was asked by a Princeton Seminarian student if we as a Monastic community ever experience a sense of being up against forces of darkness, principalities and powers that push against us in our ministries. And if so, how do we fight against these forces. (With questions like this you know why we brace ourselves when we have seminarians come for a visit. They’re wonderful and they keep us on our toes.) The truth is the dark forces are never that far away. Our modern day demons include: alcoholism, drug addiction, prejudice and hatred, fear, depression, jealousy and envy, loneliness and isolation, materialism and a drive for power, even boredom and meaninglessness, acedia. These demons do not point to something that has taken hold within us. It would be more correct to think of these demons as pointing to a LACK of something within us.

Jesus did not take something out of us to make us good. The good news is that he came to make us aware of something inside...truth, love, forgiveness...our central core of goodness.

Jesus came to the synagogue well equiped to deal with evil spirits. He had just spent 40 days in the desert facing down his own demons. The image of Jesus as exorcist is an image of someone who has experienced his own demons. It is the classic image of the wounded healer. Jesus faced three temptations. They are the 3 temptations of the false self. They are the 3 temptations that we all face in our broken humanity: our twisted needs for control, power and affection. To dismantle the programs of control, power and affection is to dismantle the false self. And when you have dismantled the false self you have authority when the devil, or when life, tries to knock the wind out of you. Jesus only had to speak two words to take authority over the evil spirit. Be Silent, sometimes translated Be Still. They were the same two words He used to calm the raging sea. It has been said that silence is God’s first language. Everything else is commentary.

“What is this? A new teaching—with authority!” Absolutely right! Jesus not only teaches in parables in the synagogue but He IS the parable of God. From this first chapter of Mark and all throughout the Gospels he appears as an enigma wrapped in mystery. What He actually says seems straightforward enough, at least on the surface. Yet sufficiently cryptic to tempt and tantalize us to be drawn in deeper.

We are also left without the details of where our deranged heckler went next. What happened to him? What became of his future? His story never recurs in Marks narrative. And once again we are left with the invitation to write in our own story and become the living Gospel.

Today we are the ones who come to temples, synagogues, churches, houses of worship, and even monasteries seeking transformation. And in two words Jesus becomes our boundary-breaking, demon-dashing, law-transcending Lord commanding us to “be silent, be still.”

Through His healing silence we go forth with restored meaning to our lives. Through God’s silence all the evil spirits that are wrapped up in our control, power and affection issues are dismantled leaving us in the wonderment of being filled with God’s love. Through the realization of the fundamental woundedness of our humanity is where we discover healing, freedom, transcendence.

Through Jesus’ own woundedness of battling satan’s temptation in the wilderness he healed this man in the Capernaum synagogue. His woundedness took him all the way to the cross fulfilling Isaiah’s prophetic words, “by His wounds we are healed.” In the woundedness of Christ He became the source of life for all of us—even for you, even for me.

Amen

An Advent Wilderness

2011-12-04T17:04:00.000-08:00

Sojourner Truth

An Advent Wilderness

St. John's Episcopal Church

Kingston, NY

Advent 2B - RCL

Isaiah 40:1-11

Psalm 85:1-2, 8-13

2 Peter 3:8-15a

Mark 1:1-8

It is a real joy for me to be with you today; to join you in worship and to share in this holy season of Advent. Honestly, St. John’s feels like my second spiritual home. I know so many of you from the Monastery, from the Education for Ministry program, and your work and ministry with Angel Food. And now you’ve welcomed me to your pulpit, you’ve welcomed me to share my journey in Contemplative Prayer, you’ve welcomed me like family. It is a spiritual bond that I truly treasure.

It is as if we are working backwards through Advent this year. Last Sunday our Lectionary pointed us to apocalyptic events and Christ second coming. Today we have the opening prologue to Mark’s gospel and there are no birth stories to linger at.We meet not one but two prophets speaking to us from the wilderness. This backward movement through the days of Advent may strike us as odd but it will ultimately point us toward the coming of the Christ child. It does point us toward the manger where we will get our first glimpses of light, life and love. It does point us toward new hope, peace, and joy.

But before we arrive at the foot of the manger we must first go through the travail of the wilderness. The wilderness, which can seduce us with its beauty and its majesty, has many faces. In one part of the country it is dense with forest and lush vegetation which delight all of our senses. In another part of the country it is stark and barren and seems to purge us of any affectation. All the while it holds a grandeur that takes our breath away. If you have ever visited some of our great National Parks out west, especially those in southern Utah, you know of the grandeur of which I speak. The wilderness is a place of wonder and exploration. It is also a place of respite and rejuvenation. Unless, of course, we become lost in it. Then it is transformed into a place of dread and terror. A place where all hope can be lost. The wilderness is a place that supports life only if we possess the survival skills necessary to navigate its mysteries. Without those survival skills we are at the mercy of a disinterested, even hostile, environment.

On this second Sunday of Advent the calm of our lives is startled awake by voices from the wilderness. With Isaiah we hear one crying out for the construction of a passable route through the desert; then from an entirely different time, even a different desert, we hear the voice of John the Baptist, our wild and wooly prophet, giving us an unsettling call to repentance. In fact, any honest look at all three of our scripture readings this morning bring us face to face with the issue of repentance.

Trust me, no guest preacher wants to go into a parish his first time and preach on repentance. Any homiletical professor will tell you there is no surer way to loose you audience. Mere mention of the word cause most people to roll their eyes back, shut down their hearing, or brace themselves for an olde time religion that is as worn out as its name. Apparently our attitudes and feelings about repentance are about as popular as they were in the time of John the Baptist and Isaiah: they only preached about it when they were out in the middle of nowhere.

What does this have to do with Advent? Everything! While our calendars may suggest that Advent is the season of preparation for the celebration of the Nativity, the Advent readings broaden our view and insist that we are really preparing for the coming of the reign of God in our lives. This backward march that begins with the second coming of Christ and ends on Christmas Day at the manger points us to the mystery of Advent. A mystery that links the historical coming of the promised Messiah with the coming of Christ into our own hearts and the coming of Christ again at the end of all time. A mystery that will ask us to pause and look into our hearts, our real and honest selves.

We are being called to prepare for a time when kindness and truth will meet, when justice and peace will kiss, when truth will spring out of the earth, and justice will look down from heaven. Now these are phrases that normally make us think of when the world “out there” will finally be set right by God. But I am talking about the world “in here”. I am talking about when kindness and truth will meet “in here”. When justice and peace will kiss “in here”. No I’m not talking about when the wars of distant lands will cease, I’m talking about the wars that rage within our own thoughts will cease. The conflicts, the wounds, the troubles, the hurts, the disappointments, the fears, the self loathing, the self hate—because this is the wilderness that most of us find ourselves lost in today. This is the wilderness where the good news of Christ cries out to touch and change our lives.

Advent is a time serious road construction—and we all know the joy that brings. Isaiah is not describing minor repairs, such as filling in potholes or repairing curbs. He is calling for major reconfiguration of the terrain: filling in valleys and leveling mountains; smoothing rugged land and rough country. He is calling for serious transformation of the landscape of our lives. It is a call to go in a new direction. Or as Fr. Thomas Keating so lovingly tells us it is a call to change the direction from where you are looking for happiness. That is how he defines repentance. It is when we get to that place where we say “this isn’t working anymore” and we turn around and go a new way.

One day I was on my way to Woodstock and came upon road construction and was detoured onto unfamiliar roads. Now I know this must be a guy thing but for some reason I thought I could figure out a better route than where the detour was sending me. After about 45 minutes of going in circles and ending up where I began, still blocked by road construction, I decided I would follow the detour signs. You know what the definition of insanity is? Doing the same thing over and over expecting a different outcome. How many times in our lives have we been trapped by this? It is not really the definition of insanity but it defines the human condition we find ourselves captive in.

This past week I found myself captive of an unexpected wilderness. It was by no means how I had envisioned I would spend my first week of this blessed time of Advent. A season I regular refer to as my favorite time of year. My wilderness sent me off to jury duty. And by wilderness I really don’t mean the interruption that jury duty brings. Changing plans, rearranging schedules, not having time to use it as I want to. I’m not even referring to the drudgery we all feel by the need to perform our civic duty, that task of doing something we “should” when we honestly would rather not.

The wilderness I’m speaking of is when you are called to step out of your own life and into the lives and events that belong to another world. A world where tragic things happened and a series of events have transpired all culminating in bringing a roomful of strangers together in a courtroom. So my first week of Advent was not filled with times of Contemplative Prayer, saying my Rosary, joining my monastic community in our daily celebration of the eucharist, not even joining in the daily office to chant the Psalms. My first week of Advent did not give time for the spiritual reading I had planned or the practice of spiritual disciplines that I look forward to in this blessed season. By Friday I was dry, parched, empty. Mentally exhausted, spiritually drained I said God “why?”. Friday evening I walked out of the court house in uptown Kingston and found myself standing right in front of a monument to Sojourner Truth. That great abolutionist who marched up the very steps of that court house and won the right to a trial which resulted in the return of her son from a slave owner that had hauled her son all the way to Alabama. She got custody of her son back and spent the rest of her life to bring an end to slavery and injustice. The inscription on the monument quotes Sojourner Truth speaking from her own wilderness: “I talk with God and He talks with me”.

“I talk with God and He talks with me”. That is a divine relationship at its very purest. That is the conviction of one who has turned around and walked in a new direction to find her happiness. That is one who went through the wilderness with the only survival skill that will bring you through it: clutching God’s hand. That is one who made a new path and toppled mountains of injustice, even the injustice she found within herself and found the light, life and love within the manger of her own heart.

“I talk with God and He talks with me”.

Have a blessed Advent. Amen.

Living In-Between

2011-11-27T11:49:00.000-08:00

Living In-Between

Sermon for the 1st Sunday of Advent

Holy Cross Monastery

RCL - Advent 1, Year B

Isaiah 64:1-9

1 Corinthians 1:3-9

Mark 13:24-37

On this first Sunday of Advent, as the Church begins its telling of the Christian story once again, our Gospel reading tells us to “keep awake”. Honestly, this command to keep awake I find to be a bit annoying. Most of us do not need to be told to keep awake during Advent. We are already operating in a state of sleep deprivation. Instead of being accused of being asleep we are more likely to be accused scurrying through the rush of holiday shopping, parties, and to-do list, being highly over-scheduled, and burning our Advent Candle at both ends. There’s endless shopping, gifts to prepare, parties to plan, travel arrangements to make, lots of extra cooking and baking. Squeezed in to our already busy lives will be Christmas pageants, Cantata’s and Lessons and Carols. The joy of being with family and friends is a gift but it is also a stress. Visiting relatives and in-laws mean extra work and somehow it all has to get done. The pressures of the holiday season will be over-shadowed by a constant reminder of how many shopping days left until Christmas morning. In case you’re wondering you have 27 days and about 15.5 hours. So it occurs to me that the real pastoral action needed for most of us is not to be told to keep awake, but to pass out sleeping pills with chamomile tea to minister to our over-caffeinated, stressed out selves.

The fact that we are exhausted and stretched to our physical limits is not just a reality of Advent and Christmas--it’s a reality of our lives all year long. Sleep, or the need to get more of it, has actually made it onto the list of spiritual disciplines. This is simply recognizing that it is hard to progress spiritually when we’re exhausted. James Bryan Smith in his book “The Good and Beautiful God” says that the number one enemy of spiritual formation today is exhaustion. Many retailers opened their stores this past Friday (Black Friday) at midnight Thursday. Some even pushed their opening hours earlier and opened on Thanksgiving Day. We’re loosing the sanctity of setting aside a holiday as a time of resting from our busy lives.

Our culture is caught up in a mad rush of busy-ness that is pointed toward Christmas morning, but it is not pointed toward the coming of the Christ child. We may not be physically asleep; quite the opposite actually. But in our wakefulness to the realities of the holiday rush we can fall asleep to the spiritual season of the coming Christ. So on this first Sunday of Advent Mark’s gospel gives us a wake-up call by telling us that the coming of Christ is both near and at hand. But which coming of Christ does Mark’s gospel point us to? Advent is a special season indeed linking the historical coming of the promised Messiah with the coming of Christ into our own hearts and the coming of Christ again at the end of time. Our lection this morning is known as the little apocalypse and is filled with references to the end of all time. Not unlike many today the Disciples wanted Jesus to give them a date. They were ready to mark their calendars. So Jesus gave them a metaphor--the Fig Tree. A fig tree would be a well known reference point for someone living in a Mediterranean world in the first century. When we encounter figs today they tend to be mashed inside a moist little biscuit. But for us, is the sign to the end of the age really to be found in a comfort food cookie? I think not.

For us this is a metaphor pointing to a paradox. The wake up call in Mark’s gospel is calling you and me to awaken to paradox. In fact, it is one of the most important paradoxes found in the Gospel. It is the paradox of already but not yet.

It is the already but not yet drama of how we live our life with God.
Christ has already been born but not yet has the world come into His light and love.
Already Jesus has established the means for our relationship with God, but not yet do we live in complete union with God.
Already the Prince of Peace has come but not yet have we learned to end our wars.
Already Christ has taken our wounds but not yet have we been able to let them go.
Already the realm of God is evident all around us, but not yet is God’s realm fully established in this world or even in our hearts.
Already God’s economy is at work, but not yet have we moved our hope from Wall St.
Already God has filled the earth with plenty but not yet have we learned to share it with all.

Jesus was telling His disciples, and through this gospel text He is telling us, we are the one’s living “in-between” His first coming and His second coming. This already but not yet paradox is how Mark’s gospel breaks right into our lives today speaking to us who live in-between. Mark’s gospel is not an apocalyptic message for those left behind, it is an apocalyptic message for those left between. For those living in this challenging meantime between the already and the not yet.

Just like the fig tree that knows how to respond to the seasons of the year Advent calls us to a season to go within. All of nature moves deep inside and all living things have dug their roots deep into the earth for sustenance and protection. We too are invited to turn inward during this blessed time of preparation for the Lord’s coming. This is the season to let Christ be born anew in our hearts, in our minds, in our souls. This is the season to live fully into the reality that although Christ was born in human weakness, He manifested His divinity to the world. This is the season to open our hearts to His spiritual coming in our inmost being where Christ is born anew and to let His light shine within us. This is the season to wait and watch for His final coming at the end of time where He will manifest His glorified being through all creation.

As I was preparing my own heart for the Advent season I was going through my journal and came upon an entry I had written years ago. The entry has the simple title of “Three Questions”. I’m not for sure what impressed me to write it down at the time. But today I would tell you that the Holy Spirit knew I would need it at this point in my life. I have taken these 3 questions and placed them on the inner tabernacle of my heart. It is as if they sit in the cradle of my being, the Holy Spirit working them through me as He knows best. I don’t even try to provide an answer to these 3 questions. I am simply letting them be within me, allowing my heavenly friend to engraft them into my life. I will journey with them these next 4 weeks of Advent. They will be my guiding star leading me to the cradle of my Lord. I share them with you in invitation for you to journey with them during this season of Advent.

What needs to be forgiven?

What needs to be healed?

What needs to be celebrated?

Three questions that hold and carry us through the paradox of already but not yet of our lives with God. Three questions that stand with us in solidarity (quite literally) in this in-between place of our Christian journey. Three questions that we can welcome keeping awake with through this holy season of Advent.

Have a Blessed Advent!

Amen!

Utter Madness or Magnificent Good Fortune? -- The Saint John's Bible

2011-07-29T07:40:00.000-07:00

There is a new Bible in my life. I actually take a bit of teasing from my Brothers about my love of Bibles. Currently I have 14 Bibles in my cell, plus another one in my choir stall. And if I really looked around I’m sure I would locate a few more. Some have a family history, some I bought because I wanted to read in a new translation, others because of their study notes. You might call me a bible-holic. It comes from honest roots, growing up in the Baptist church, learning to study scripture at an early age, being influenced by my grandfather, a beloved Baptist preacher, in how he studied scripture. It is a love that has stuck with me all of my life.

For one who loves scripture and all things Bibles, The Saint John’s Bible, nearly sent me into an apoplectic orbit. It is more than a Bible...it is an experience!

Donald Jackson, in his Scriptorium in Wales, showing original pages from the Book of Psalms

The Saint John’s Bible is entirely hand written in calligraphy. This is something that hasn’t been done since the invention of the printing press, over 500 years ago. It was commissioned by the Benedictine monks of St. John’s Abbey. They commissioned Donald Jackson, longtime scribe to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth’s Crown Office. From his scriptorium in Wales he set out to fulfill a life-long dream. To create an entirely hand-written, hand-illuminated Bible using ancient methods yet creating something relevant to the 21st century. The project began in 1998. Thirteen years later, in fact, just this past June, the Bible was completed. Completely unbeknownst to me when I boarded a plane to visit St. John’s Abbey this past June, I would be participating in multiple events celebrating the completion of the Saint John’s Bible. I can only say it was God’s providence at work in gifting me with such a meaningful experience. I was able to meet and visit with Donald Jackson, artistic director and creator of this Bible. I held in my hands many of the original pages of the Bible, specifically the Epistles and Revelation. I saw God’s Word come to life in a way I never dreamed.

Br. Julian visiting with Donald Jackson, Creator of the Saint John's Bible.

The pages of the Bible are calf-skin vellum. They’re enormous. Each page measures 15 7/8” wide by 24 1/2” tall, so wether you are holding it or just seeing it you know it is something special, unique, important. Donald Jackson created a special calligraphy script for the Bible. It is far different from what we are used to in modern book type but I was surprised how readable the script is. It is a script that causes you to slow down your reading, to read intentionally, even meditatively. Perfect for the Benedictine practice of Lectio Divina or sacred reading. The inks used are ancient Chinese hand-ground inks. And the pens used to write the text were not pens. Quills from goose, turkey and swan were used, each hand cut for the calligrapher. The care, the level of intentionality, and attention to detail that went into a single page is mind boggling. And there are 1150 pages to complete the entire Bible. As I reflected on the ancient methods and materials used to create The Saint John’s Bible it dawned on me that this gives an entirely new context to the “word becoming flesh”. God’s word is literally recorded on the flesh of an animal, even written with a feather quill, something living and given by another being.

Then there are the illuminations, about 160 of them. Some fill an entire page, some spill over into a double-page spread. Then others fill a column or partial column. Gold, silver and platinum, egg tempura paints, and rare inks come together to bring scripture to life on the page. The illuminations pull you in and cause to you stop and sit with them for awhile. As you do you start to discover images you would have missed with only a quick look. From the story of the loaves and fishes and Jesus feeding the 5000 you begin to see the Eucharist multiplying throughout the illumination. In the Gospel of Luke there is an illumination simply titled “The Luke Anthology” that illuminated a series of parables: the prodigal son, the good Samaritan, even Mary and Martha are found in this illumination. Then all of a sudden you realize you are looking at a depiction of the twin towers of the World Trade Center, the iconic symbol of 9/11. Donald Jackson explains that he was working on this illumination shortly after 9/11 and he was compelled to include it with this gospel illumination. He said “it is going to take a lot of love to get ourselves out of this one” and that is why it is there.

In a way the entire Psalter becomes an illumination. The Book of Psalms is a song book. So Donald recorded Benedictine monks chanting the Psalms in Gregorian Chant. He took those recordings, digitized them, then printed them. What might look like the line drawings from an EKG become a musical thread running through the entire Psalter in gold leaf. Once you see it running through the pages of the Psalter it simply takes your breath away.

With over 160 illuminations I could write volumes about their imagery, symbolism, and their ability to bring scripture to life in fresh new ways. Experiencing the illuminations is an act of sacred seeing. So much so it has coined a new term for Benedictines: Visio Divina. I laughed the first time I heard this. I thought they made this up. And most likely they did. Lectio Divina has its foundation right in the Rule of Benedict. But made up or not, Visio Divina has its place. Sacred Seeing brings a new sense and a new dimension to praying with scripture. Combining the two is a powerful way to engraft scripture into your heart and life.

Since returning home from St. John’s Abbey I have been motivated to find ways to make it a part of my life. Even though its original pages will live in a museum that is far from the entire purpose of this Bible. It is meant to excite people to fall in love with scripture all over again. It is meant to show the beauty and power of sacred art. It is meant to stir our hearts in hearing and seeing God’s word in fresh new ways. There are reproduction volumes, 7 in all for the entire Bible, about the size of a coffee table book, perfect for home use and perfect for a personal lectio practice. I have long had a practice of reading through the Bible each year. Now as I do my reading I am using the illuminations to add a whole new dimension to my time with scripture. But there is one more practice that I basically stumbled into that I am finding very meaningful. The practice of writing scripture. While at St. John’s Abbey I heard Donald Jackson speak about the power of just sitting down and writing scripture. Letting it pass through your fingers, your hands, your eyes, your thoughts as a way of hiding it within your heart. I’m not a calligrapher, nor do I think I’ll acquire that skill at this stage of life, but I have started a journal where I just write out important passages of scripture. Some are short, some are long. It has added a whole new dimension to my life and love affair with scripture. It is a practice I hope you will try. I promise it will amaze and bless you.

When St. John’s Abbey began this project 13 years ago they said that “this whole project is either utter madness or magnificent good fortune”. At that moment they were not for sure which one it would work out to be. I understand both of those statements. Witnessing for myself the final gold leaf cross burnished onto the last page of Revelation, at a special Vespers service to officially complete the Bible, we now with hindsight can say it was “magnificent good fortune”. This Bible already lives way beyond the walls of St. John’s Abbey and Donald Jackson’s scriptorium in Wales. This Bible is a gift for the entire Church, for all Christians everywhere.

You're Going To Gehenna!

2011-07-25T14:06:00.000-07:00

Br. Julian's Sermon for Pentecost VI, Proper 12

I Kings 3:5-12

Romans 8:26-39

Matthew 13:31-33, 44-52

I have often wondered what it is like for the first time visitor to Church. I sense their uncertainty, awkwardness, unfamiliarity, shyness and questioning heart. They come no doubt because they are searching, spiritually hungry, maybe even in need of finding peace with God. So many times they do not even know why they have come...they just do. What I really wonder is what message do they take away from their church visit. For us who are steeped in church, know when to stand, bow, kneel, cross ourselves, and all the rules of our pew aerobics, we easily forget how uncomfortable and strange the experience is to the uninitiated. And then...we tell them “you’re going to hell”.

Did you hear it in today’s Gospel reading? We began with some familiar parables about mustard seeds and leaven, hidden treasure and fine pearls, but we ended up with good and bad fish, angels swooping in to call out the evil ones throwing them into the furnace of fire. The subtext is very clear—if you are a bad fish you’re going to hell. There will even be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

This is our second Sunday in a row for us to hear about hell. Our Revised Common Lectionary has taken this 13th chapter of Matthew, sliced, diced and chopped it into two separate readings of parables. Both readings end with the evil wrongdoers being cast into a furnace of fire. Both readings end with weeping and gnashing of teeth. So if last week didn’t scare you into salvation by the threat of eternal damnation in hell there is another opportunity today.

I wonder if we wouldn’t do a better job of sharing the gospel if we edited some of these scriptures. You know, have them sanitized for our well-being. In some cases our Lectionary does skip over passages of scripture. They simply don’t show up for a Sunday morning reading. This doesn’t mean those scriptures do not have their proper place. But we do say the place to deal with them is not at the Sunday morning Eucharist. Even as Monks we choose to sanitize the scriptures for your betterment. We chant through the entire book of Psalms every two weeks, all 150 of them. Well...actually not all 150. If you read the fine print in the opening pages of our Monastic Breviary you’ll see there is a group of Psalms we skip over, leave out. They are known as the Imprecatory Psalms, or cursing Psalms. Somehow we just don’t feel it will add to your retreat experience of silence, solitude and rest, to hear us sing in Gregorian Chant about babies heads being bashed against rocks. Do those scriptures have their place? Yes they do. But we choose to make sure they are heard in their proper context.

As soon as we hear Jesus talk about the furnace of fire with weeping and gnashing of teeth the very next words out of His mouth are “have you understood all of this?”. And the disciples answer Him by saying “yes”. Now I’m thinking REALLY!? They truly get it? Are they honestly grasping Jesus’ meaning through His coded language of parables with apocalyptic references to the end of all time? Well possibly they understand more than we realize.

In order for us to understand we have to look at context. Context, context, context--it is the beginning, the middle and the end to interpreting the meaning of scripture. The importance of context was never made quite so clear to me as when I met a foreign exchange student from South Korea on the campus of Stetson University. I was attending a national conference on forensic debate and public speaking. My new friend from Korea looked at me and said “I am having such a hard time grasping the nuances of the english language”. He had heard that it is nice, positive, even a compliment to tell someone they are “cool”. So when he was at a party he wanted to pay his host a compliment. Going up to her he says “you know, you are really not so hot”. Context! It is very important.

In order for us to answer Jesus’ question that He put to his disciples, “have you understood all of this?”, we have to ask a few questions ourselves. What did these words mean to the gospeler who recorded them decades after Christ’ death and resurrection? What did these words mean to those who first heard them? How was it heard within the context and culture of a first century Jew? What would they have meant to Jesus Himself when he spoke them and how would His disciples have heard them?

This furnace of fire with weeping and gnashing of teeth was a literal place to Jesus. And when Jesus spoke of it His disciples would have had a instant connection to a real and literal place. In Aramaic, the language that Jesus spoke, the word we translate as hell is Gehenna. Gehenna occurs 12 times in the New Testament and comes from the Aramaic/Hebrew word ge-hinnom. It means valley of Hinnom, an actual valley located southwest of the city of Jerusalem. The valley served as a boundary line for the land inheritance of the tribes of Benjamin and Judah. It is a place with an interesting and dubious history in antiquity, one that would be known to a first century Jew. Throughout the time of the Hebrew kings and through the time of the Hebrew prophets this valley saw much bloodshed. Canaanite worship of the gods Molech and Baal demanded child sacrifice through the practice of passing them through the fire into the hands of the gods. A practice nearly impossible for us in the 21st century to wrap our minds around.

During times of war soldiers piled dead bodies in the Hinnom Valley where they were burned for what seemed like forever. During times of relative peace the bodies of criminals were dumped there and disposed of in the same manner. This is all hard to hear. But my point is the Hinnom Valley, or Gehenna, had a reputation as an abyss, an accursed valley where only the guilty ended up where their bodies would seem to burn forever, to dwell in eternal darkness at the outer limits of civilization. In the Jewish mind it was a place where hell existed on earth.

In Jesus’ day the valley had become a refuse heap. It is where Jerusalem sent its trash to be burned day and night. The fires of Gehenna were never extinguished. Beneath its surface it was a smoldering incineration of rotting smelly garbage. Smoke rose from this valley without end. Think of the smell. You can even think of it as the first century’s attempt at being green. I could be a lot more graphic but I will spare you. But make no mistake, to the Jewish mind it was the vilest place on earth. When Jesus spoke of it His listeners would instantly think of it. Their fears of falling in or ending up there would immediately come to mind. It was a real place where your teeth would gnash together.

Now for us, our difficulty today is that all of the occurrences of the word Gehenna in the New Testament have primarily been translated as hell. Let’s do a quick survey of all of these scriptures on hell to see what we would learn: (And as we do our survey remember that each occurrence of the word “hell” has its root in the word “Gehenna”.)

Hell is an ever burning garbage dump just southwest of Jerusalem
Bodies are thrown into hell by Jesus, angels, unknown entities, and kings servants
In hell, there is unquenchable fire
In hell, worms don’t die
Those who cause a child to stumble are thrown into hell
Those who do not cut off their hand or foot or poke out their eye if it causes them to stumble are thrown into hell
Those who don’t hate their father and mother, sisters and brothers go to hell
A man dressed in the wrong clothes goes to hell
Angels live in hell--the sinful ones that is
Whole cities and entire towns can be cast into hell
Hell has gates and those gates can’t prevail against Jesus’ followers
People in hell see those who are in heaven and people in heaven see those who are in hell
Jesus, as risen Lord, has the keys to hell
And finally in Revelation hell itself will be thrown into the lake of fire

What is most revealing about our list is that the Bible’s language of hell is entirely figurative or in parable form. In some cases the details of hell differ so drastically we cannot take them literally. Hell cannot be all these things at the same time. When we hear Jesus speak of mustard seeds being the smallest of seeds (which it isn’t) and growing into a great tree (which it doesn’t) we have no difficulty seeing this as parable and metaphor. But only a few lines later in the text when Jesus speaks of hell our minds want to change the genre of the text. We don’t hear it as a continuation of the parable. We loose its metaphorical significance. Wether it is mustard seeds and leaven or hells furnace with weeping and gnashing of teeth Jesus is pointing us to a truth. He is trying to teach us something. He is pointing us to a reality. But what reality?

Was the lesson Jesus was teaching about having the right confession of faith, holding the correct creed, holding to a certain set of orthodox beliefs? And if you don’t the consequence is torment burning in the fires of hell for all eternity, all time, with no option for conversion, no possibility of restoration, no opportunity for redemption. Is that the real message of the gospel?

Five chapters later, in Matthew 18, Jesus speaks again about Gehenna. In this discourse He makes a very declarative statement: “I have come not to cast the lost into hell (Gehenna) but to seek and to save the lost”. His point and emphasis actually has little to do with hell. His intent was not to teach the disciples about the nature of hell, who goes there, and how long you will suffer. In fact if Jesus was speaking to us today in our vernacular, in the context of our language and culture he would say something like “where do you think you already are?”. Gehenna is the current reality of the human condition.

In the context of Jesus teachings, He focuses on salvation, He focuses on liberation from sin, on healing and transformation of souls. The eternal fire, gnashing of teeth, darkness, and fiery furnace that Jesus speaks about are all metaphors meant to bring about life conversion. He is telling them about their salvation and His role in it.

Whatever theological belief about hell you hold to it must harmonize with the nature and character of God as Jesus revealed Him. It also must harmonize with the major themes of the Bible of God’s mercy, love, justice, faithfulness, AND His desire to reconcile with all of creation. Reconciliation and restoration is the reality behind Jesus’ linguistic strategy in referencing Gehenna. He is shocking His hearers into realizing that He has come to bring liberation. Liberation from sin, spiritual death, and all of the evils of our lives and world.

The good news of the gospel is that our damnation, our torment, our despair is only for a season. It is not an eternal condition. Nor is it for anyone. There is only one thing that is eternal for all time and that is God, His love, His restoration, His reconciliation, His healing, and His liberation.

Now our only question is the one Jesus posed to his disciples: “Have you understood all of this”.

Amen

The Way Forward

2011-05-23T15:00:00.000-07:00

Title: The Way Forward

RCL - Easter 5A - May 22, 2011

Acts 7:55-60

Psalm 31:1-5, 15-16

1 Peter 2:2-10

John 14:1-14

Well, in case you missed it, yesterday was May 21st -- the end of the world. Billboards have dotted the American landscape, along with t-shirts and leaflets stating the Bible guarantees it, buses painted with “The End of the World” messages from bumper to bumper, and of course all of those “believers” shouting over bullhorns in the public square that the rapture was to occur on May 21st. A visit to the website of “judgementday2011.com” earlier this week touted sale prices for t-shirts because there were only a “few days left”.

The May 21st movement within the far right evangelical community has at its center Harold Camping of FamilyRadio.com and his ability to decipher the hidden secrets of scripture about the end of time. However, this is not the first time Harold Camping has set a date for the return of Christ. He first predicted Christ return on September 6, 1994. How did he know Christ would return on this date? He equated the 2000 pigs mentioned in the 5th chapter of Mark’s gospel as 2000 years. Then following a complicated numbering scheme arrived at September 6, 1994. That of course didn’t happen so banking on the short memory of his followers he set a new date: May 21, 2011. Harold Camping is not alone in the field of prophecy pundits. Jack Van Empe has set a date in 2012. And there are other prophecy pundits who have set dates in 2014. And what is their motivation for such prophetic announcements? Could it be connected to the over $80 million in donations FamilyRadio.com received in the years 2005 to 2009?

Here’s the truth of the matter. There is absolutely no evidence in the Bible whatsoever, nary a clue, as to when Jesus Christ will return. There is no scripture in the Bible that can reveal the date of the Second Coming. Furthermore, all prophecy pundits have one characteristic in common. They are 100% wrong 100% of the time. Now if you are sensing that I have some energy on all of this you’re right. These charlatans (and that is what they are) who are dominant in some portions of American Christian culture are robbing thousands of the true message of Christ, His words, the true meaning of the Gospel. When the Evening News, NPR, CNN and host of other media outlets cover these stories as viable news it sidetracks the real dialogue that needs to be heard on Christ love, and on His works of mercy and justice, taking care of the poor, feeding the hungry, and ministering to the sick. As I have heard one commentator put it “the hucksterism of Left Behind/Rapture theology causes us to lose the meaning of consecrated life through the pursuit of justice and peace.”

There have been countless news stories of individuals and families giving up their jobs, liquidating their assets and savings and it is heartbreaking to hear. There are hundreds if not thousands of people who awoke to the reality of this Sunday morning who will now have to find a new way forward. That way forward lies right in today’s Gospel.

The 13th through the 19th chapters of John narrates the last 24 hours of Christ earthly life. Our reading today falls right in the middle of what is known as the Johannine Farewell Discourse. Jesus knows His passion is eminent and it is through these farewell discourses that Jesus does all He can to prepare his disciples for what lies ahead, for life after tomorrow. So He begins with reassurance, He begins by setting aside their fears, which is always the beginning place of any true work of God, by saying “Do not let your hearts be troubled”. John has his own ordering of the events of passion week. By the time we get to today’s reading Jesus has already washed his disciples feet, predicted Judas’ betrayal, and Peter’s denials, and He has called on His disciples to “love one another”. What he is really doing is preparing His disciples for what their lives will look like once he has departed from this world and returned to His Father.

As it is throughout much of the Gospel of John the dialogue is pushed forward through a series of questions. The first question actually comes in the preceding verses from Peter: “Lord, where are you going?” Then Thomas ask how they can know the way to where Christ is going if they do not even know the destination. What the disciples are failing to grasp is that Jesus is telling them that the Father IS the destination. The next question comes from Philip asking Jesus to show them the Father. Jesus’ response only confuses them further by saying you’ve already seen the Father by seeing me.

At the heart of this discourse Jesus makes one of the most profound statements of His entire 3 years of earthly ministry. “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” This is not exactly an ecumenical/inter-faith statement, nor did Jesus intend it to be. On the surface it sounds like Jesus is being completely exclusive. This is a powerful statement, even for us in our time. But to a Jew, living in the fist century, living in the Jewish homeland it held a life altering revelation. Jesus took 3 of the great foundational conceptions of Judaism and made the tremendous claim that in Him all 3 found their full realization.

The Way

Jesus says “I am the way.” Following the way as a path to God goes all the way back to Moses. In fact we could probably trace it all the way back to Abraham. God said to Moses “...you shall not turn to the right or to the left. You must follow exactly the path that the Lord your God has commanded you.” Moses told the Israelites not to turn aside from the way that God had commanded them to follow. Much later in Jewish history Isaiah says “This is the way; walk in it”. The Psalmist writes: “Teach me your way O Lord”. And what is most telling is the name by which the very first Christians became known by in the Book of Acts: they were followers of The Way. So for Jesus to make the claim to His disciples of being the way was telling them that He was the embodiment of all that they sought. Even more literally He was saying I am the embodiment of life with God. He wasn’t giving them a set of directions on how to find God. He wasn’t handing them a road map or a set of formulas. He told them I AM God. And I assure you it wasn’t lost on Peter, Thomas and Philip that Jesus used the very name of God that God spoke to Moses...I AM. And it shouldn’t be lost on us.

The Truth

Jesus said “I am the way and the truth” and in doing so identifies Himself with the Psalmist who wrote: “Teach me your way O Lord, that I may walk in your truth”. Just as in our day, first century Palestine had its cache of prophecy pundits and those claiming to know the truth. What made Jesus different? He embodied truth. Jesus wasn’t the next empty johnny-come-lately truth claimer or moralist. There is an unlimited number of names that I could pull from recent headlines of would be moralist and truth-claimers who fell from their pedestals. And the common thread in all of their downfalls was greed and lust. But lets be honest. We don’t need the sensational stories from headline news. Most of us need look no further than our own circle of friends, or our own families, and yes, even our own lives to recognize the failings of truth. An adulterer who claims purity, a greedy person who claims generosity, a domineering person who claims humility, an irascible person who claims serenity, an embittered person who claims love--it all makes one completely skeptical of truth. Yet Jesus claims with unequivocal authority I am truth. And His disciples recognized that Jesus really lived the truth he taught. They saw in Him the reality of truth. Only Jesus could make such a statement. There has never been anyone before or since who could say I am truth.

The Life

Jesus said “I am life”. A first century Jew would know that in Proverbs, holding the wisdom of Solomon, such verses as: “whoever heeds instruction is on the path of life” or “You show me the path of life”. What Solomon discovered that made him so wise is that the end game in the Jewish faith of following the way and seeking truth was to find life. And what makes Solomon’s words so wise to us today is that in the final analyses what we are always seeking more than anything else is life.

Was Jesus discounting the great faiths of the world, some of them older than Christianity? Was He making an exclusive statement telling his disciples they had made it into the ultimate “in-group” and all others were left behind in the out group? NO! He simply met his questioners, Peter, Thomas and Philip, right where they were and spoke to them in a language they would understand. He told them I AM the embodiment of Torah. I AM the way to follow, I AM the truth you seek, I AM the life you desire.

Now I would like to set a date. It is the only date we need ever set. It is the date we proclaim each and every day with the Psalmist saying: “This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.” It is today that Jesus tells us He is the way because He is our access point to God’s promise of life. It is today that Jesus tells us that He is life because he has brought His gift of life to the world. Let us this day choose Jesus as our way, let us choose Jesus as our truth, let us choose Jesus as our life.

Amen

Intentional Photography

2011-04-18T16:39:00.001-07:00

I have been spending a lot more time with my camera lately. One of the things I most value about Monastic life is the ability to live intentionally. And a big part of living intentionally is about developing ourselves, always learning and developing new skills and interests. For me this has translated into allowing myself to develop creatively with photography.

"In Flight" Captured at Innisfree Garden

The ability to capture a special moment, to create a stunning image, a landscape scene that reflects God's creative finger and beauty, has always fascinated me. As far as my ability to do so I am a beginner, but every great photographer began somewhere.

Br. Julian signing his Monastic Vow

Photographed by Br. Bernard at Br. Julian's Profession Service

I had enough foresight before entering the Monastery to invest in a good amateur camera system. But I have struggled to truly master the settings for aperture, shutter speed, metering mode and iso. So I paid a visit to my Prior and ask if our Community Develop Fund could afford me taking a distance learning program in photography. He said yes and I enrolled in the New York Institute of Photography (NYIP) Fundamentals of Digital Photography Course. I'm loving it and it is helping. I already see an improvement in my pictures. I also see how much I need to learn. Photography is a journey of itself.

"Crucifix" St. Augustine Chapel at Holy Cross Monastery

This also means I am sharing more about my Monastic life and spiritual journey through pictures on Flickr. I invite you to join me on my Flickr page, Cloister Walk, as I share both the big and the small events of life in and around a Monastery. As an example, today, during a Monk's Sabbath, I visited a Redempstoristine Nun who is both neighbor and close friend of our Community who gave me a lesson in spinning yarn and allowed me to try my own hand at her spinning wheel. Yarn Crafting is another one of those creative juices that has bubbled up within me as a part of my monastic life.

"Hands In Motion" Sr. Hildegard at her Spinning Wheel

By the way, all budding photographers love feedback and comments on photos. So when you visit my Flickr page make me one of your contacts, don't be shy about marking a photo as a favorite, and do leave encouraging comments. Flickr makes it as easy as clicking a shutter.

Julian

Preparing for my First Profession of the Monastic Vow

2011-03-30T07:04:00.000-07:00

For the past 8 days I have had the joy of being on retreat at Emery House, a Monastery and Retreat Center of the Community of St. John the Evangelist (SSJE). One of the things I most love about being a Monk is the worldwide brotherhood we share with other Monastic Communities.

A Welcome Sign to Emery House, The Community of SSJE

SSJE may not identify themselves as Benedictine's but their hospitality is no less warm and inviting. They welcomed me in as one of their own and there was never a moment of not feeling I was in a place where I belonged. Their habit is black, ours white. So yes, I can't help but stand out as being different. But that is just a superficial observation. Being welcomed by name at meals, being led and told where everything is, how everything works, never having to wonder where to go or what comes next, being included with their community while being given all the space I need for silence and solitude that makes being on retreat a true retreat, even a reassuring hand on my shoulder to let me know they really are glad I'm here--these are just a few of the ways their genuine hospitality shines through.

A Spectacular Sunset at Emery House

I am still very much an infant on the monastic journey, being just 2 1/2 years in, so the opportunity to observe the life and charism of a different community is formative. Their Daily Office centers around the Book of Common Prayer and the 1982 Episcopal Hymnal and and I have loved spending more time in both. But that is balanced by how much I have missed the Monastic Breviary of our Order, the Order of the Holy Cross. We chant a large portion of the Psalms at each office, allowing us to go through the entire Psalter every two weeks. And something that is even harder for me to put into words is how our Monastic Breviary holds the mysterious. No, not in a mysterious-o way, but opening a window to God's presence that we never fully comprehend. Truth be told, I'm sure when an SSJE Brother visits us they too will enjoy our way of doing the Divine Office while simultaneously missing their own. When you do something 4 times a day, 6 days a week, it gets into the core of your being, it goes beyond mere intellect, and washes over your soul. Either way, at home or away, I can't imagine being on retreat and not being able to pray the Divine Office with other Monk's.

The Olde Mill House & Foot Bridge over the Artichoke River

Emery House is situated on 143 acres in W. Newbury, MA, about an hours drive north of Boston. Their land is bordered by the Merrimack and Artichoke rivers. Every inch of their acreage is a rolling pastoral landscape. I'm a wannabe amateur photographer so I had a wonderful time of practicing my hobby. In addition to the beautiful scenery they have just welcomed 30 new baby chicks, are serious about bee keeping and producing honey, farm a portion of their land, have pigs, hens (layers), and work to be green and sustainable. One Brother is a potter, with a studio, and his wares are offered for sale in the main house. His work is indeed stunning. I have greatly appreciated a week of comparing notes of practices we hold in common, areas that we are considering (like bee keeping) and how both of our communities ethos leads us to find greater, deeper and stronger ways to become more green and sustainable in how we live our lives.

Br. James, SSJE is the Bee Keeper

All of this has merged to form the perfect backdrop for the real reason I am here. To be in preparation to take the monastic vow for the first time. To, hopefully, gain a deeper understanding of what I am consenting to. And to discern is this really what I want for the rest of my life.

Foreground-Retreat Hermitage

Background-Emery House

The monastic vow is a three-fold vow of stability, conversion of my ways to the monastic way of life, and obedience. Each aspect of this vow is something that needs to be unpacked, in an attitude of prayer. One can look at the vow intellectually, historically, and even listen to what other Monks can share from their own experience. I have one of those personality temperaments that desperately wants to figure everything out in advance. But this is one time in my life I am letting go of that need. I might as well because figuring it all out will simply not happen. It certainly won't happen by April 6th, the day set aside for me to take my first vow. My Novice Master, Br. Andrew, warned me about this. And I'm glad he did. He told me that taking the monastic vow is really saying yes to taking a leap of faith, stepping into the unknown, saying to God "I don't understand what it all means but I'll trust you to walk with me into the future". I have had 8 days of silence and solitude to hold all of this in prayer with God. And I leave this retreat with 2 things: great peace in what I am about to do and a knowing that I have never wanted anything more in my life than to take this vow and live this life. I see both of these as a gift of God's grace.

Emery Lane

Adding to my own joy is the knowledge that I am only a little part of something happening within our Community that is so much bigger. During the month of April 4 major vocational events are slated; my first profession of the Monastic vow, 2 clothings of new novices, and the life profession of Br. James. It is a phenomenal set of events that is rare indeed within any monastic community. But the events of this April are only one part of the story. If we step back to look at the last 2 years we'll see we have been blessed with 5 Life Professions.

It is a mystery and a grace too deep for words.....

Love Wins -- Sermon for Lent 2A

2011-03-20T07:27:00.000-07:00

Nicodemus -- Michelangelo's 'The Disposition'

Love Wins!

RCL - Lent 2 - March 20, 2011

Genesis 12:1-4a

Psalm 121

Romans 4:1-5, 13-17

John 3:1-17

In the name of God who calls us to celebration, who calls us to pursue community in our world, and who calls us to compassion in the midst of all human suffering. Amen!

When you grow up in a family of Baptist preachers you hear a lot of stories from the pulpit. One of the most memorable for me was hearing W. A. Criswell preach at a preaching conference at First Baptist Church, Jacksonville, FL., my hometown. Criswell was known as the prince the preachers. He had pastored First Baptist Church in Dallas, TX for over 50 years before retiring. And the occasion of hearing him preach in my home town of Jacksonville in February 1988 turned out to be his last sermon. The story is one of simple old time religion and two mischievous boys who got ahold of the preachers Bible and glued some of its pages together. The preacher got up to the pulpit, opened his Bible, and began reading from Genesis the story of Noah. “...and in those days Noah took unto himself a wife”, then turning what he thought was one page continued reading, “and she was 15 cubits broad, 35 cubits long, made out of gopher wood, and dopped on the inside with pitch”. The preacher then held up his Bible and said “my brothers and sisters I’ve never read that before in the Word of God but if that is what the Word of God says then I believe it!” And with those words a 3000 seat church auditorium, filled with Baptist preachers from all over the country, nearly exploded as they leaped to their feet, raised their hands, applauded and shouted AMEN! to the proclamation that if God’s Word says it, it’s true. For me, there was never more powerful of a moment of what it means to be a Bible-believing, God-said-it-I-believe-it-that-settles-it, kind of Christian. And this story has remained for me a powerful example of how reading scripture literally can get you into big trouble.

And in today’s Gospel we have another example of getting into trouble through a literal hearing of the God’s Word. A Pharisee, named Nicodemus, seeks out an audience with Jesus by coming to him under the cover of night. We don’t know a whole lot about Nicodemus but the text gives us enough clues to tell us he was truly a spiritual seeker. He broke ground with his fellow Pharisees to even risk having a private conversation with Jesus and this is most likely why he came in the darkness of night. Nicodemus is a man torn in two directions. He acknowledges the divine nature of Jesus but he is also unsettled by him. His fellow Pharisees have marked Jesus as trouble and a renegade. I wouldn’t say that Jesus’ reception of his night-time visitor was exactly pastoral. Nicodemus opens the conversation by complimenting Jesus: “Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher come from God; for no one can do these signs that you do apart from the presence of God”. And Jesus responds with an off-the-wall comment completely out of left field: “I tell you know one can see the kingdom of God without being born from above”. Poor Nicodemus is knocked off center and bewildered. He exclaims “how can this be, how can you re-enter your mother’s womb and be reborn?” by which Jesus responds with a statement designed to completely destabilize Nicodemus: “no one can enter the kingdom of God without being born of water and spirit”.

This story is our source for the phrase born-again Christian. And it is also the source of the most beloved scripture (and probably the most well-known) in all of the Bible. John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that He gave His only son.” A story and a text so familiar to us we’ve lost the ability to hear its message in our hearts. Cynthia Bourgeault calls Jesus’ statement of needing to be reborn as the Christian equivalent of the famous Zen koan, “What is the sound of one hand clapping?”.

We are only in the third chapter of John but keep reading and you’ll see that Jesus took great joy in paradox and riddle and seemed to love leaving folks scratching their heads. Our modern theologians try to put this in context by framing Jesus as a Wisdom teacher. In many ways Jesus does fit the mold of a wisdom teacher but His intent goes much deeper. Jesus’ discourse on being born again, being born of water AND spirit, and being born from above was not just targeted at Nicodemus, nor the Pharisees, nor just the first century church. It’s target was the egoic mind and the human condition. It’s target is to throw us off kilter and destabilize our tight-knit, everything-fits-into-its-proper-place world. It’s target is to force us to go back and rethink our entire understanding of who God is and how we are in relationship with God.

Jesus could have just as easily said, “Nicodemus, if you want to enter God’s Kingdom you are going to have to go back to the very beginning, back to square one, and start all over. Where is the beginning? Well in the Biblical narrative it is in Genesis, the book of beginnings, where we go from creation and God saying “it is good” to the fall of Adam and Eve. It was in the fall where man’s sense of self became separated from God’s presence, where man’s identity with God was lost and where man started to develop his own programs for happiness, fulfillment and meaning. And ever since then God has been calling us back to return to our home in God, to our identity in God, to our place of rest in God, yes, even calling us to be born again.

The difficulty for us lies in the reality that this process of being born again is not an easy one. It is so much more than a formulaic prayer designed to give us an assurance of heaven and after-life management. It is a process of transformation and conversion, here and now. It is a process that will even involve pain at times. John of the Cross called this the dark night of the soul or the night of sense. Let’s take another look at John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but have eternal life.” Believes is the key word here because it is a word of consent. What Jesus is really saying to Nicodemus is “do you give your consent for God’s work and action to transform you?” Do you say “yes” to the dying of the false self? Do you say yes to changing the direction of your life and all of the programs you’ve created to find happiness. Do you say yes to allowing God to remove the obstacles in your life that block the flow of God’s grace?

As we move with Jesus through these 40 days of Lent we will soon journey with him in the Garden of Gethsemane. It is in this Garden where Jesus prays in complete brokenness, to the point of sweating drops of blood, asking God if this “cup” can be taken away from him. What is in this “cup” that is so agonizing to Jesus? God was asking Jesus to drink from a cup that no other human would have the capacity to swallow the dregs held in that cup. All of humanities brokenness, all of the pain, all of the evil, all of the holocaust, all of apartheid, all of the Gadhafi’s and Fred Phelp’s in this world, all of the devastating earthquakes and tsunamis, all of the suffering, all of the addictions, all those who have been abused, all of the injustice of all time was in that cup and Jesus said “I’ll drink it!” Why? Because God so loved the world. That is what Jesus is saying to the Nicodemus’s in each of us: Nicodemus you can’t really hear me right now, you don’t have the capacity to understand yet what I’m saying but Easter morning is coming where you’ll come out of your dark night and into the light of day AND LOVE WINS!

Love gets the final word. Love is the consummation of this birthing process. Yes there will be grief and wounds along the birthing canal but Nicodemus will you believe? Will you say yes? Will you give your consent to God’s process of transformation and conversion? Will you be reborn?

We have good assurance that Nicodemus did say yes to Jesus’ call to new birth. We do not hear from him anymore in this dialogue but I am sure he left with much to ponder. But we’re not done with Nicodemus. He reappears in the Gospel narrative and joins Joseph of Arimathea in taking Jesus’ body down from the cross. It was Nicodemus who brought 100 pounds of spices and the linen to wrap the body of his Lord for burial. Nicodemus is no longer afraid, he is no longer moving under the cover and darkness of night. He has come into the full light of day, working openly in front of his fellow Pharisees, doing the very thing that is certain to make them very angry. They were done with Jesus. But not Nicodemus.

For God so loved the world. And God so loves the Nicodemus who lives in all of us. And in the end God’s Love wins.

2011-02-13T13:11:00.000-08:00

Today I did something quite radical. I deactivated my Facebook account. Shocking I know. Especially considering I was nearly classified as a Facebook power user.

But the fact this would be considered a radical act is rather telling of itself. Facebook has become the worldwide addiction and not having a Facebook account is compatible with not having email or being cut off from the internet. Deactivating one's Facebook account is about a 4 step process. When you finally get to the last confirm button and your computer screen tells you your Facebook page has disappeared into the hinterlands of the ethernet there is moment of "OMG what have I done". But then the next moment came--freedom. Freedom from constantly reading your wall post, freedom from following endless links and pages and freedom from a colossal waste of time.

It had been fun no less and there is something to be said for mindless recreation breaks throughout the day. But none of this answers the question as to why I axed my Facebook account. It is all about creating more Monastic space in my life. Simplifying and de-cluttering, both the clutter in the closet and the clutter on my computer. Opening up monastic space is about creating time for what is of value: contemplation, prayer, reading, real connections with real people (as opposed to those virtual friends).

Today's Gospel reading from the RCL included the difficult passage from Matthew 5 which says "And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to go into hell." Well I haven't cut off any limbs today but in a way I cut off something bigger. Now I just wonder of the 300+ friends I left behind on Facebook how many of them will reach out for real friendship beyond the virtual world.

Free at last!

Contemplative Prayer: A Journey In Relationship With God

2011-02-08T15:38:00.000-08:00

The Rose Window - St. Augustine Chapel - Holy Cross Monastery

Photo by REP Photography

I'm sharing an article on Contemplative Prayer that I wrote for the Mundi Medicina, the newsletter for Holy Cross Monastery. The contemplative spiritual journey is one I feel pretty passionate about and for those of you who don't receive our newsletter I'll use this Blog as another venue to share my thoughts on finding God within through silent prayer. Peace

Contemplative Prayer: A Journey in Relationship with God

Recently I overheard our Prior, Br. Bede, telling the story of a lady who had recently begun attending a meditation prayer group. She discovered almost immediately a deep well within her of God’s presence. Excitedly, returning to her church, she shared her new experience only to be told “Be very careful! Those people think God can be found within.”

Well, I am one of “those people”. We all laughed of course at the telling of this story but for me it also reinforced an issue I am strongly aware of. Centering Prayer, Silent Prayer or Christian Meditation (give it whatever title you like) is greatly misunderstood, sometimes maligned, and even feared by many. The maligning and all of the fear come from misunderstanding some very basic fundamentals about being in relationship with God.

So let me begin by stating the most fundamental and important aspect of Contemplative Prayer. It is a prayer that is the result and outgrowth of a deepening relationship with God. St. Augustine said “God speaks to us in the great silence of the heart”. And as our relationship with God deepens and becomes more intimate it is natural to move to a place beyond words, beyond the limitations of our thoughts to a place of just being with God. This place of being is one of complete openness, complete surrender, a tender place, an expression of love in its highest form.

Our own human relationships follow the same pattern. First we take notice of someone and become infatuated to the point of breaking the ice and starting the conversation. We move on to an acquaintance and a getting-to-know-you phase. Over time the conversations deepen, we discover common bonds, and we begin to reveal our deeper secrets. And for those relationships that go on for decades and last a lifetime we find we can complete each others sentences, we even know their thoughts without any words being spoken. We find that our most intimate moments are those when we simply sit together in quiet silence, occasionally giving each other a reassuring glance, times when words simply become unnecessary. Typically, one of the first indicators that a relationship is deepening is the discovery that when you are together there is less and less need to fill every moment with conversation. Pauses that lengthen into times of quiet silence begin to seep in to those together times and they stop feeling awkward.

Our relationship with God is no different. Prayer mirrors our human patterns of breaking the ice and starting the conversation to maturing to times of intimate quiet, of learning to just be and sit with God in silence. It is a natural outgrowth of a growing trust and dependence on God, of coming into a place of surrender and total love. Jesus knew this when he told us “the kingdom of God is within you”.

Once we understand that Contemplative Prayer is simply about relationship; being with God in relationship and deepening that relationship, we then can move to the obvious question. What is the method for Contemplative Prayer? And that is where things like Centering Prayer and Christian Meditation enter in. Centering Prayer, or any other form used in Christian meditation, is a practice that leads us to a place of contemplation. This past year a guest attended one of our Introductory Workshops on Centering Prayer and began attending our weekly Centering Prayer group. After about a month her daughter ask her “how’s it going”. Her response was, “Well, there is no how, there is no it, and there is no going”. I loved this reply. I knew she really understood that Centering Prayer is simply just a method of opening us to God’s presence. But it is God that does the how, the it and the going.

This actually becomes one of the biggest stumbling blocks for people new on the path of Contemplative Prayer. They want a goal. It is assumed that this is a journey from point A to point B and there is a destination to be reached, achieved. The sooner one can put aside the idea that when you sit down to do your method of silent prayer, that there is a carrot dangling out in front of you, begging to be reached, or that you are there to achieve something, the sooner you will find rest and freedom in your prayer time. And the sooner you will see the benefits of your silent prayer time spilling over into the rest of your day.

One of the primary goals folks assume, that becomes a stumbling block, is the idea of achieving a state of having “no thoughts”. After all, if silence is the goal to communing with God, we have to stop thinking. Please allow me to free you from this false idea. Thoughts are an integral part of the silent prayer process and as long as we are alive we will have thoughts. The organization Contemplative Outreach has a phrase to express this: resist no thought, react to no thought, retain no thought. To resist no thought recognizes that thoughts will come. And when they do we simply decide to not let them hook us and carry us away into some mental fantasy land. That is where the use of a Sacred Word comes in. It is simply a one or two syllable word we use to let go of our thoughts and to acknowledge our desire that at this moment we simply want to be in God’s presence.

Then after awhile, we will realize another thought has come, and with that realization we recall our sacred word to let it go. The sacred word is not a bat to hit away our thoughts. It is not a word to repeat over and over until we have no thoughts. It is a simple giving of our consent that at this one moment our only desire is to be with God. The sacred word is just like the glance an elderly couple shares with one another when enjoying each others company in silence. It is just a gentle look that tells your beloved...I’m right here, I love you.

One of the greatest joys of my life is to share with people how deep and intimate our relationship with God can be. So about one year ago I began to reach out by hosting introductory workshops on Centering Prayer. That lead to hosting a weekly group that comes together on Tuesday evenings for a half-hour of silent prayer, followed by a reading from a book on the contemplative Christian life and a time of sharing. Then to help us all deepen our practice I added retreats that would allow for more intensive practice. This coming June God has opened another door for us to walk through. We will host here at the Monastery a six day formation training for those who wish to be a servant leader in Contemplative Prayer ministry.

It certainly gives one joy to see their desire and efforts bear fruit and results. But I am reminded that these are simply just endeavors that must continually bring me back to a place of prayer. You will find it both in the Rule of our Founder, Fr. Huntington, and in the Rule of St. Benedict, both our work and our study has but one end...to result in prayer.

“...the kingdom of God is within you” Luke 17:21

Just An "Ordinary" Sermon

2011-01-23T07:11:00.000-08:00

Br. Charles in his choir stall in St. Augustine Chapel at Holy Cross Monastery

Just An “Ordinary” Sermon

RCL - Epiphany 3 - January 23, 2011

Isaiah 9:1-4

1 Corinthians 1:10-18

Matthew 4:12-23

In the name of God who calls us to celebration, who calls us to pursue community in our world, and who calls us to compassion in the midst of all human suffering. Amen!

I’m finding Epiphany to be a rather complicated season. It’s about 3 Kings (who weren’t actual Kings) following a star (that astronomers have never identified and don’t think actually existed) showing up with some not-so-practical-gifts (I can hear Mary now saying I’ve got a newborn here, couldn’t you have brought diapers? what am I to do with frankincense?). But the complication with Epiphany is that it is layered and complex. Epiphany is also the celebration and observance of the Baptism of Christ AND it is when we commemorate Christ first miracle at the start of His earthly ministry: the wedding feast at Cana and the turning of water into wine. Three very significant events in salvation history, spanning 30 years of the life of Christ, three events that really don’t seem to have much of a link.

And today we name this Sunday the “Third Sunday of Epiphany”. But in reality what that really means is that we are in the third Sunday of Ordinary Time. Ordinary Time is that time of year when the Church is neither preparing for or celebrating Christmas or Easter. In Advent we prepare for Christmas and in Christmas we celebrate God-With-Us in the Incarnation. In Lent we prepare ourselves for Holy Week and going through it we emerge in Easter, celebrating the resurrection of Christ life in us. In a way we define Ordinary Time by what it is not: it is not Advent or Christmas or Lent or Easter. It is not therefore, the time when the Church is directly engaged with the preparations and celebrations of the birth, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

Now we protestants want to turn Epiphany into a season. We have Christmas-tide and we have Easter-tide. But the idea of Epiphany-tide just never caught on. Some theologians want to elevate Epiphany to a greater feast than Christmas. After all it is when we come to understand the Incarnation as an event of God coming for all humankind, Jew and Gentile alike. But the decorations are gone, the simplicity of our Chapel has returned and we wear green to mark that this really is just ordinary time.

In addition to defining Ordinary Time by what it is not we can just as well define it by what it is: it is the season that makes up over half of our Church year—up to 34 weeks each year. It is the time, just like Peter and Andrew in today’s Gospel reading from Matthew, where we are called to follow Jesus. It is the time we take the birth, death and resurrection of Christ and live fully into its reality in the here and now of our daily lives. It is a time of being formed in Christ. It is a time of formation and conversion. It is a time of living into God’s call on our lives. It is a time when we take our Incarnation and Resurrection celebrations and work to make a difference in the world. It is also a time of repentance.

Repentance—now there’s a word we really don’t like. Actually its a word we can’t stand. What an inconvenient time for Jesus to say to us “repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near”? Doesn’t Jesus know that the idea of repentance makes us uncomfortable and this is no place to begin a new work? Starting here is a sign of sure failure. Wouldn’t it had been a wiser choice for Christ to begin by telling us God is love? And how can we call this ordinary time if we are going to kick it off in such a non-affirming way by saying we need to repent?

It is no liturgical accident that after Christmas and Epiphany and before Lent and Easter that Jesus tells us to repent and follow Him. And for the next four plus weeks we will be hearing Jesus preach from The Mount where He will unpack for us just what the Christian life is and if we choose, how we will be converted by it. It is also no accident that it is in these weeks of Ordinary Time where we loose so many would-be followers of Christ. We’ve all seen it. The pews are packed out for Christmas and Easter services. It is a joyous time of celebration, we even get new outfits to mark the occasions. But after the feast are over and we are back to our green season of Ordinary Time, where are all those people?

When the reality of the Christian life sets in and we start talking about things like repentance, following Christ, changing the way we live, being formed to become more like Christ the crowds thin out. If you pay attention when you read through the Gospel narratives you’ll see the same dynamic at work during Christ earthly ministry. When the wine was flowing and people were getting fed and healed the throngs were magnificent. But when Christ started talking about changing your ways, doing justice, changing your heart, and putting your money where your faith is, those throngs became a small handful of people. Later we’ll even see that Peter, the very one called to follow Christ in today’s Gospel ends up denying Christ 3 times when it meant his own life would be put on the line.

When it comes to all things Christians are known for talking about the concept of sin and repentance is so highly charged it is like stepping into a field of land mines and IED’s. Quite frankly it’s toxic to bring up the idea of repentance in almost any context. In our post-modern, post-critical, even post-christian world we have gone out of our way to extricate repentance from both our religious practice and our moral culture. I have a friend who refuses to sing the great hymn Amazing Grace. She said to me in no uncertain words one day “I’m not a wretch saved by grace! I’m not a wretch at all and I won’t sing those words!”

It is absolutely true that the more than 100 references in scripture about repentance have been used to clobber those we dislike and to brow-beat those we judge. There is an entire genre of preaching that is about delivering the bad news before you give the good news. And in order to gain entrance into their church fold one must sufficiently prove an experiential encounter with Christ that is heavy laden with repentance. It all reminds me of the adage I overheard a Brother saying “We haven’t seen a good smiting in quite some time now”.

Jesus was completely sensitive to this. And when He says “repent” He is neither brow-beating us nor judging us. We are just so hyper-reactive to hearing the word repentance that it stops us from being able to hear the rest of His statement: “for the kingdom of heaven has come near”. Jesus is saying I have something better, I have that which will last, I can give you true peace and joy and fulfillment, real happiness. Jesus is saying you don’t have to die to go to heaven. It is near right now. And you can have it in this life if you want it. But Christ is actually saying something even deeper. He is answering the eternal question of what is real, what is it all about, where can we find truth. And what is His answer. Turn around and enter God’s Kingdom.

The word for repent in Greek is metanoia and it means to think differently, to turn around, to change the direction in which you are going. Fr. Thomas Keating says that what Jesus is really doing is inviting us to change the direction in which we are looking for our happiness. From the moment we are born our psyche is hard wired to seek fulfillment of our needs and desires. Security, affection and control dominate our endless search for fulfillment. The predicament of the human condition is that it doesn’t take very long for us to make a mess of our lives in how we go about seeking security, affection and control. As soon as we think we are secure circumstances change and we become very insecure. The affection and love we long for is never completely satisfied. And for being in control...forget it...no matter how much you think you are in control life’s taskmaster will be there to show you’re not in control and you never were in control.

Those who seek power to gain security, affection and control only find they never have enough power. Those who seek wealth to gain security, affection and control live in fear of never having enough. Those who claw their way to the top of the corporate ladder are never satisfied with the view from the top. Framing the act of repentance as letting go of our endless need for more, doing an about face in what we hold important, changing the direction in how we look for happiness and fulfillment is much more than a new age recast of old fashioned religion.

Repentance is answering Christ’s call to conversion that you don’t need the latest gadget but that the local food pantry needs your time and resources. Repentance is answering Christ’s call to conversion that instead of clawing your way up the corporate ladder you’ll claw your way down to the local prison and befriend someone who has never known what it means to have someone else truly care about them. Repentance is learning you can live on less so you can help relieve the suffering of those who go without.

Last week I heard Christ call to repentance in an unexpected moment. As an introduction for a presenter/speaker at the Trinity Institute Theological Conference a short video was shown. The video profiled a community in Nigeria that quite frankly looked poorer than poor. No paved roads, shabby buildings, classrooms poorly outfitted, poorly lit. Plain tattered clothes and cars so old I would have a hard time trusting them. But as poor as they were in “things” and commodities they were rich in joy, love, happiness. They weren’t just smiling for the camera but their joy they knew deep within simply shone through. When I noted this juxtaposition between the wealth of America and the seeming lack of Nigeria another person correctly noted that they are sad for us. They are sad that we have so much yet lack real happiness and fulfillment. They are sad for us over our complicated, frantic and unsatisfied lives. Little did I know that a simple film, profiling a village in Nigeria would be Christ whisper to me for repentance in simplicity and a return to what is really important.

I grew up in a faith tradition that preached a lot on repentance and always offered an altar call as an opportunity for one to change their ways. My step-father, a very prominent Baptist preacher, loved to goad me about my “strange Episcopal ways”. One day the goading was why we Episcopalians never have an altar call. I must have tired of the teasing because after a moment of silence I just looked at him and said “you know, we Episcopalians have more altar calls than the Baptist”. “No you don’t” he replied. I said “yes we do!”.

Then I explained to him that every time we come together to celebrate the Eucharist we have an altar call. It is a time were we make a decision to follow Christ. We physically walk in an new direction. It is an act of metanoia, of turning around and going in a new direction. The very act of partaking of the Body and Blood of Christ is an act of opening ourselves to the Holy Spirit and entering a process of conversion.

That was the last time he teased me about altar calls. But you know its true that in a few moments when we gather around this altar behind me we will be yielding the Christ’s call to turn and go in a new direction for our happiness and fulfillment. It is even an act of turning over our needs of security, affection and control and letting it go. It is our acknowledgement that this Sunday is no ordinary time at all.

Amen

Part Two -- The Conversation Continues...

2010-12-22T05:22:00.000-08:00

Here is the second installment of a dialogue between a Southern Baptist Minister and an Episcopal Benedictine Monk on the subject of Homosexuality. In case it is hard to tell they are friends, have a long history with one another, and hold a loving respect for the other to this day.

It is also important to say that I do not enter this conversation with the goal of winning a debate or even to change his mind. I would be arrogant to do so. I enter this conversation because a) I am pretty passionate on the subject, b) it is an important exercise to clarify my on thinking and thoughts on the matter, and c) it is a critically important subject for our time, especially for the wider Christian Church and for those who are struggling with homosexuality to know that there is a place for them in God's fold. All are welcome at God's table!

My only goal is to do my part in turning the tide of despair for those who struggle with same-sex attraction and feel the Church has shut them out. I have been on this journey for 40+ years now and I join my voice to millions of others saying "It Does Get Better".

- Henry McKinney
  Charles because I know many are watching this post I will try to say what I have to say with sensitivity and demonstrate that I do have a degree of intelligence and compassion.
  
  First, I want you to know I do love and respect you. We were good friends during a very important time in my life. I believe I learned a great deal about you, your family and your struggle which I did not understand at the time but have over the years tried to understand.
  
  When I use the term "radical gay" I am speaking of a minority of people that are bent on changing culture. Some are very astute using the legal system, establishing court cases that challenge existing laws and cultural norms. There are those among that group who are violent, mean, disrespectful and alter truth to fit there agenda. These whom I call radical are infiltrating our school system, encouraging children at an early age to accept being gay at a time where gender confusion is natural, innocent and the importance of influence in the direction one will chose for the rest of his/her life is monumental.
  
  The second group I see in the gay community are people who have accepted being gay, are content with just living their lives, do not want to bother anyone, they simply want to live and let live. They are not trying to change culture or make a political statement they simply want to live.
  
  The third group I see are people who genuinely want to be delivered from the same-sex attraction with which he/she has struggled since an early age. The "radical gay" community is saying it is wrong and/or impossible to change while these individuals struggle to find help. They are trapped in an emotional tug-of-war which creates an enormous battle.
  
  As for the the people who are learned theologians who now hold a different view of scripture other than the recognized historical orthodox view of scripture I believe them to be false prophets and err greatly on teaching the Bible as it was delivered by God through his prophets. Wherever the Bible speaks on whatever subject it speaks it is accurate and true.
  
  There is a new religion based on "Gay Theology" that does not interpret sin as sin. You say what I am saying is hate speech because I believe the Bible to speak clearly on sin. I am aware of folks around the world who have been arrested in Canada and Scotland for saying the Bible calls the homosexual behavior sin. The call to holiness means being set apart for use by God and demonstrating who God is by the way we live our lives. ALL sex outside a marriage relationship between one man and one woman is called sin by the Bible. Without altering Bible truth one cannot say this is not so.
  
  Know, also that the Bible does NOT teach homosexuality is the worst sin or the unpardonable sin. One can change his/her mind and learn to control emotions and actions. This is not an easy task but possible. There is a possibility for change from being homosexual to holy. It is the behavior that is sin NOT the same sex attraction.
  
  The message of the Bible is there is redemption from sin. The reason Jesus Christ died on the cross was to pay the penalty for sin. He conquered sin and death. All who trust HIM, and HIM alone for their salvation are delivered from the eternal consequences of sin. Christ followers are told to follow the example of Christ. He told the woman caught in the very act of adultery that He did not condemn her go and sin no more.
  
  Throughout scripture we are told to put off certain actions and put on certain things. It is the process of sanctification. ALL Christians are being sanctified which means becoming like Christ. NOTE: ALL sin is to be put off. Becoming like Christ means dealing with sin, ALL sin, not a particular sin.
  
  The message of the Bible is hope for ALL who would believe, put his/her faith, trust and confidence in Jesus Christ for life on Earth and all eternity.
  Monday at 10:09am · · 1 person
- Charles Mizelle
  Well...it looks as though there is energy to continue the conversation. I know there is love and respect on both sides and I greatly value and appreciate that. I also know that we will both find the need to say some strong statements at times and that does not negate our love and respect for each other. Our task will be to let our dialogue percolate in each other and let the Holy Spirit work in each of us.
  
  I will start with the term "radical gay". When I first read it in your earlier post it sounded like a broad generalization of the gay community. Now that you are defining it as violent, mean, disrespectful, and those altering truth to fit their agenda I can only say that is how I would define a nut case. And sadly there are nut cases on all sides of this issue. Not to mention the nut cases that walk into churches and open fire killing innocent people or the nut cases that blow up abortion clinics. But for the most part this represents those on the outer fringe. Where it becomes important in our dialogue is recognizing when the evangelical/fundamental Christian community only puts out the message that homosexuality is sin, an abomination to God, condemns one to hell (and many other similar phrases) that this gives fuel and justification to those nut cases who commit hideous acts. And it has been very disturbing to me that there is no recognition, acknowledgement or responsibility from evangelical Christians for this behavior.
  
  Of greater concern to me is how this message becomes internalized by those who are struggling with homosexuality to the point that it drives them to despair and even to suicide. Words matter. Claiming with complete certainty to know the meaning of scripture, to know God's mind and will on the issue and to say "I'm right your wrong" on the matter is extremely troubling on many levels.
  
  I have been thinking this afternoon about the 3 types of gays you identified in the above post. In many ways I have been all 3 types. I have experienced unspeakable acts against me from Christians who were absolutely assured they were God's messengers and doing God's will. And I can't give you a complete answer to what kept me from throwing myself off a bridge. But I will say I really do get how a gay man or woman comes to that point of despair. And thank God I was able to hold on, pull through, and grow to experience the truth that this struggle really does get better. What my experiences have done for me is to empower me to fight as strongly as I can, as ethically and legally as I can to change the world, culture, laws and the wrong thinking within society to create a better, safer place for the gay youth coming up behind me. So I guess I too am a radical and I certainly do give thanks for those gay radicals working through the courts, the schools and at every level of society to bring the change that is so necessary.
  
  continued in next comment...
  Monday at 7:50pm ·
- Charles Mizelle
  I am also like the type who just wants to live my life and be left alone. And I was extremely blessed to be partnered for 17 years in a wholesome, healthy, committed, monogamous gay relationship. And even though that relationship did not last a lifetime and we both came to a place where we needed to end the relationship I know what it is to have a loving partner and just simply live a normal life. We went to work every day, contributed to the communities we lived in, struggled over who would take out the garbage and do the laundry, paid our taxes, and lived like the "Jones" in any American neighborhood.
  
  I can also identify with the 3rd type of gay-those who want to change and stop being gay. I sought pastoral counseling (with disastrous results), went to ex-gay ministry groups, prayed everyday that God would change me. In fact every gay man and woman I have ever known has struggled with trying to change, ultimately a struggle to be someone they can't be. And this is why I get a strong dose of righteous anger rising within me whenever I hear that this is a "choice" or a "behavior". Absolutely no one would choose to be a member of an oppressed group. No one chooses to be an outcast member of society. No one chooses to have their just human rights taken away from them. And believe me, no one chooses to be labeled an abomination of God.
  
  For anyone to hold to the idea that this is a choice or that it is behavior that can be changed is operating at an unfathomable level of ignorance on the subject. As a Benedictine Monk I think I have a strong handle on what it means to make a choice or behave in a certain way. I did not choose to be gay. I did try to choose to be straight which nearly led me to mental illness. As a Monk I do choose to be celibate. That is a choice made by both gay and straight men and woman living a vowed religious life.
  
  The so-called ex-gay ministries that perpetuate the lie that you can change has done immeasurable harm to thousands. They are discredited by every reputable psychological and mental health organization. They are unable to quantify any real success stories. They provide no verifiable data and will not submit themselves to any valid peer review process for their methods and work. The trail of damaged souls left behind in their wake is tragic. And all of this is done because the evangelical community purports certainty to know the mind of God on homosexuality.
  
  So lets talk about this certainty for a moment. If we step back and take a look at what Christians have been so certain about for the last 3 thousand years we find an extremely poor track record. A sixth grade review of church history would leave any person of reason and rationality with the conclusion we have extremely little to be certain about.
  
  Scripture has been used to enslave people of color and suppress woman (and many, many other terrible acts) because we had the right interpretation of scripture. But today our understanding of these scriptures has changed. But we are still no less shy about claiming to hold the truth.
  
  In my own lifetime I have seen Christians make a major shift about divorce. When my parents went through a divorce in 70's they took a LOT of grief from their church peers about breaking God's will and committing sin by divorcing. Today the church has come to a much stronger place of offering pastoral care to those going through divorce.
  
  I bring up the subject of divorce for another reason. There are 7 or 8 places that homosexuality occurs in scripture. The evangelical/fundamental community seems to have only one way of interpreting these scriptures. Yet divorce gets a considerable greater focus throughout scripture and this same evangelical/fundamental community gives it a lot of wiggle room. My problem is if you were consistent and applied the same hermeneutic of interpretation to the scriptures on divorce as is done with the scriptures on homosexuality there would be no wiggle room at all. There should be a huge outcry against divorce, pastors should stop allowing remarriage, you should be proposing constitutional amendments to stop divorce and remarriage, it would be recognized as the real threat to family values. If one is honest you can only conclude that there are 2 different standards of interpreting scripture at work.
  
  The issue of not being consistent with how scripture is interpreted and applied would not stop with divorce. But it offers a very pertinent example to the issue of homosexuality.
  
  I have been long winded here I know. But I hope you will keep reading another couple of minutes.
  
  I find it troubling that when Christians and people of faith study scripture and come to a different conclusion from you, you label them as "false prophets". Really Henry? False Prophets? So no matter how learned, no matter how sincere, no matter how much time they spend on their knees seeking God over the matter, no matter the depth of their faith and spiritual life they are tossed off as a false prophet? This creates a pretty sad situation. It creates a convenient means to not engage another view, to discount and discredit another view and break fellowship with other Christians who are on the faith journey. And since I fall into this category of seeing scripture differently than you, you have now labeled me a false prophet. I must say that is a new name to add to the list of things I have been called.
  
  I'll close this post with one final point. I honestly feel you are on shaky ground asserting that God and scripture only allow for marriage between one man and one woman. The phrase would be more honest if it was one man and one woman "at a time". Again, there seems to be plenty of wiggle room for divorce and remarriage. Of greater difficulty is what to do with the Patriarchs of the Hebrew Scriptures. Abraham had Sarah and Hagar. Remenber Rachael and Leah? God seems to be blessing the family unit of one man, many wives and as many concubines as you can afford. I am well versed in all the responses the evangelical community gives to this messy part of scripture. But it certainly is inconvenient to the one man one woman claim that this is the ONLY model for marriage blessed by God. It is a false paradigm. It is another example of how scripture is infallible only to suit our needs. It is another example of an inconsistent exegesis/hermeneutic. The precedent we have in the family models of the Patriarchs is one where God does not dictate the culture but moves and works through the culture. I know that can be a very scary concept to most people in the evangelical/fundamental camp. But there you have it.
  
  God's Peace,
  Charles
  Monday at 7:52pm · · 1 person
- Henry McKinney Dear Charles I am so very sorry for the pain you have experienced. All who claim to know Christ Jesus but fail to love others have missed the boat. Know I will respond to all you have said as I have time. I type with 2 fingers looking at the keys. It takes me a long time to type a short amount. In high school I thought sissies took typing. Who knew the world would operate on a keyboard?
  Monday at 11:27pm · · 1 person

A Facebook Dialogue Between a Southern Baptist Preacher & An Episcopal Benedictine Monk

2010-12-20T05:01:00.000-08:00

I'm sharing a dialogue that remains on-going between a Southern Baptist preacher that I considered my best friend in high school. I still have a great affection and respect for him even though our lives, our call to ministry and our beliefs from Scripture have taken different directions. It is a conversation I feel needs to be shared with a larger audience and a conversation that is far from being done.

You will find us both to be quite passionate to our respective positions and understandings. I share our conversation with the prayer that a deeper understanding will grow in embracing the "other" and in calling the wider Christian community, which I love, to the work of creating a safe and healing refuge for all of those caught in the struggle.

God's Peace...

Charles Mizelle
I don't have the source for this quote but it is spot on: "Now you can die for your country without having to lie to your country." Today the US Senate brought honesty and integrity to LGBTQ people. And the Prince of Peace is smiling...

Saturday at 4:36pm · · · Comment

Trish Agar, Demetrio Munoz and 2 others like this.
- Henry McKinney Why don't we put men & women in the same rooms, bunk houses and bathrooms? SAME SEX Attraction is the same thing. Always been gays in military. Now it will be known. Some will be killed because of the stupid politically correct congress.
  Saturday at 11:17pm ·
- Charles Mizelle
  ‎@Henry...This is not about political correctness. It is about doing the correct thing! Asking someone to deny/lie about their inherent nature and something as core to their being as sexual identity is a great sin against that person. The fact that our military dishonorably discharges service men and women because someone outs them is a shameful mark on our country. And for the comment about people being killed for their sexual identity that has gone on for a long time. A society that shames/demeans/and treats with prejudice LGBTQ people does a LOT more to fuel the hatred in someone with a bent to commit murder and a hate crime. A society that gives just and equal treatment to LGBTQ people is a society that will takes us to a place of healing, peace and unity, not to mention a toleration of others, regardless of what their "otherness" is about. Continued in next comment...
  22 hours ago · · 1 person
- Charles Mizelle
  ‎@Henry...Since you are a Southern Baptist Minister and I grew up in the Southern Baptist Church we should both be keenly aware that when President Bill Clinton implemented DADT the Southern Baptist Convention vehemently opposed him, called it an act of "political correctness" and offered a litany of reasons of why it was such a terrible thing to do. Now Southern Baptist are vehemently opposed to the removal/reversal of DADT and give a litany of reasons about why it needs to stay in place. Several articles from Baptist Press spoke to this just this week. It is only in the last decade that Southern Baptist recognized their sin in their position on slavery and prejudice against African Americans, and made a public apology for it. I truly do hope that Southern Baptist can move a bit more quickly in recognizing the work of the Holy Spirit in bringing to an end the oppression against Gay and Lesbian people. I send you God's peace and love...Charles
  22 hours ago · · 1 person
- Henry McKinney
  There has been much misunderstanding on same-sex attraction. It is NOT a choice. Childhood pain is often times the cause. www.homesexuality101.com gives a clear compassionate understanding of the development of homosexuality.
  
  Up to the law Don't ask, Don't tell you were dishonorably discharged from military service. What seems to be now in place is a public announcement of one's same-sex attraction will be permissible with no repercussions.
  
  Little is heard of the many rapes of women that has taken place since women joined men in the combat field. If & when something happens to an openly public homosexual in the military it will only serve as fuel for the argument on both sides.
  
  Southern Baptists & all Bible believing Christians understand the homosexual act and/or acts are condemned by God. Homosexual behavior is sin. It is no worse sin than lying, cheating, stealing, over eating, gossip, etc.
  
  God's command to His children is to holiness. All sin is to be put off. Sexual behavior is clearly addressed. Acting out on sexual desires that are not in a heterosexual marriage relationship is clearly called sin by God's word. The command is to holiness not heterosexuality.
  
  My concern is the political movement of radical gays who want approval of a lifestyle that is clearly condemned in scripture. I do not want anyone hurt, bullied or killed because they are homosexual or heterosexual. As a Bible believing Christian I desire all professing Christians, including myself, to live as clearly stipulated in the Bible.
  15 hours ago ·
- Charles Mizelle
  Good Morning Henry...A couple of things: I was NOT dishonorably discharged by the Air Force. Thanks be to God I never had to suffer that indignity. But it is deplorable that so many have.
  
  Beyond that we both seem to have a lot to say on the subject and FB is a very inadequate place to hold such an important dialogue. My difficulty remains that when you post emotionally charged statements which I know to skew the facts, and misstatements of truth it is difficult for me not to offer another voice on the subject. I do not doubt your sincerity in what you say nor do I doubt that you "believe" that you are speaking the truth.
  
  I do hope you can acknowledge that not "all Bible believing Christians understand homosexual acts are condemned by God." There are 10's of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of Bible believing Christians who have struggled, studied, and searched the heart of God about what Scripture teaches us regarding homosexuality. And they have come to very different conclusions. From learned theologians, to those who have given their life to ministry to the average lover of scripture sitting in the pew they have come to an understanding that God does not condemn same sex attraction, same sex love, and committed monogamous same sex relationships. I am speaking of those who have a committed relationship to God, acknowledge Christ as Lord of their lives, hold a high view of scripture, and live their faith in complete commitment to God.
  
  FB is certainly not a platform to go into the 7 or 8 references of homosexuality in scripture in any meaningful way. But the theological work has been done and there is a multitude of resources available if one is really interested.
  
  I also hope you can acknowledge that when you use terms like "radical gays" that this demeans, demonizes, and denigrates. It is derogatory and "bears false witness" as to the true intent of the gay community that struggles for justice and an end to discrimination. We must raise the level of the conversation! And even though you say you do not want anyone "hurt, bullied or killed because they are homosexual" statements you make such as "clearly condemned in scripture, clearly stipulated in the Bible, sin by God's Word" along with "radical gays" equates to hate speech. Not only are the statements inaccurate, misleading, and go against the vast majority of those in the scientific, psychological and theological communities they do extreme harm and damage to those who are struggling with same sex attraction and sexual identity. This constant dialogue coming out of most evangelical/fundamental faith communities telling our gay youth that they are an abomination in God's eyes, or living in sin, or live in violation to scripture has a direct link to teen suicides, hate crimes, and violence perpetrated against the GLBTQ community. It must stop.
  
  Henry I need to make a very clear statement here. These statements grieve the heart of God. They are sinful. And I call on you as a professed minister of the Good News to do your part and put an end to such dialogue. I love you, I feel a great affection for you from the times we shared in high school, and quite frankly I believe you are smarter than this.
  
  The real work we both have as those who have given their lives to communicating God's love to the world is to recognize that we cannot tolerate one more college kid jumping off a bridge, we cannot tolerate one more hate crime or one more injustice against anyone who struggles with same sex attraction and sexual identity. And every time it does happen we must recognize it first and foremost as a failure of the Church and that we must work tirelessly to make our society, culture AND religious communities and houses of worship a safe and healing place for GLBTQ people. I earnestly and sincerely pray you will join me in that Godly call.
  
  God's Peace,
  Charles

The Old Rugged Cross of Hollywood

2010-09-14T10:21:00.000-07:00

Holy Cross Monastery, West Park, NY

Br. Charles Mizelle, n/OHC

Feast of the Exultation of the Holy Cross, September 14, 2010

Isaiah 45:21-25
Galatians 6:14-18
John 12:31-36a

The Old Rugged Cross of Hollywood

In the name of God who calls us to celebration, who calls us to pursue community in our world, and who calls us to compassion in the midst of all human suffering. Amen!

Los Angeles is famous for its freeway corridors and one of its most infamous is the Cahuenga Pass—the Cahuenga Pass is a 2 mile stretch slicing through the Hollywood Hills connecting the city of Los Angeles with the San Fernando Valley. Traffic moves so slowly through this freeway link you’ll have time to take in some of LA’s most notable landmarks: Universal Studio’s and the City Walk theme park, the Hollywood Bowl, the John Anson Ford amphitheater, and then that celebrity hotspot that will always be near and dear to my own heart, “Charles For Total Image”, the first day spa I ever owned. (It was the 80’s.)

But one of the most notable Hollywood landmarks in Cahuenga Pass is a large white cross, up on a hill, (a hill that could even mimic Golgatha), illuminated at night, impossible for drivers to miss regardless of which direction they are driving, standing silent witness and watching over all of Hollywood.

I lived in LA for over 22 years and I most likely drove by this cross a thousand times. Occasionally I wondered who put there, who cares for it, and why hasn’t some anti-christian, separation-of-church-and-state-fanatic, complained. But I never once heard about this cross in the news. It just endured. Like a patron saint for freeway drivers the cross was always there looking over our frantic lives. And if my recent Google Search was accurate the old rugged cross of Cahuenga Pass is still standing and watching over Hollywood.

Now a bit more than 100 miles outside of Los Angeles stands another cross. This one stands in the middle of absolutely nowhere. It is maybe seen by a handful a people a year. But chances are YOU have heard of this cross. It stands on a small patch of land in the Mojave Desert as a war memorial cross. It has not faired nearly as well as the Hollywood Cross. In 2001 a self-identified Roman Catholic brought a law suit claiming the presence of the cross on a government owned preserve violated the First Amendment. The ACLU got involved and quickly two opposing sides formed: one for religious freedom and liberty, another to remove all images of religion from public places. The saga of the Mojave Desert War Memorial Cross has been covered by national media, the subject of political talking heads, with its destiny ending up at the Supreme Court. Even some last minute wrangling to change ownership of the land where the cross stood met with defeat.

When it comes to symbols of the Christian faith, there is no more powerful of a symbol than the cross. The mere mention of a cross can insight devotion, reverence, hope, even awe, but for others it is despised, maligned, ridiculed, discounted, denied, and yes, hated. For Christians the cross holds an incredible special place in their faith. But I am not so sure the cross belongs to just the Christian community. As symbol the cross is complex, multi-layered, multi-dimensional, and is so much bigger than we can understand.

One symbol of the cross I find most fascinating is the cross as jewelry. Throughout my professional career I had a hobby of noticing how frequently a cross was worn as jewelry. Just about every woman I knew, and many men, have a cross in their jewelry collection. Rarely was it worn as symbol of faith. Maybe it was grandmothers cross, a family heirloom, a gift from a significant other, or just a treasured piece of jewelry from a favorite designer. Crosses are “in” when it comes to jewelry. Part of my hobby in observing this cultural phenomenon is knowing that the crucifixion of Christ on a cross happened in a very small window of time. If Christ had lived only a few decades earlier or later, most likely he would not have been put to death by crucifixion on a cross. Most likely he would had been stoned. The gospels give us several accounts of Jesus slipping through the hands of an angry mob who were ready to stone him to death. Shortly after his death, resurrection and ascension we have the account of Stephen being stoned to death in the book of Acts. So here’s my question: If Jesus had been stoned instead of hung on a cross, would we all want to wear little rocks around our neck? (Maybe I should leave that as a rhetorical question.)

Today is an important Feast Day for us. After all our name is the Order of the Holy Cross. And we celebrate this feast at Holy Cross Monastery. And as Christians the sacrificial act of Christ giving his life on a cross is the center point of our faith. So why am I fascinated with jewelry crosses worn by millions more as a cultural symbol than a symbol of faith and religion? Because it goes to the point that the cross is embedded in our psychic DNA. And when I say “our psychic DNA” I do not mean us as Christians, but us as human beings. The cross is a symbol that reaches beyond the walls of churches and cathedrals into the wider culture. It is a symbol that has permeated all of humankind, both Christian believer and non-believer. When the Red Cross arrives to give aid in an emergency they will be a welcome sight to both Christian and non-Christian. I never heard of anyone refusing to fly SwissAir airlines because their logo is a big white cross. Even the Persian rug in my cell, woven by nomadic peoples of Iran, has a plethora of crosses in it. So many that the cross is actually a dominant design theme of the rug. Think about it--there is no corner of the globe, there is no 3rd or 4th world country you can escape to where the symbol of the cross is not known. Crawl into a cave to see the hieroglyphics of long ago or look at the graffiti of today and you’ll find the symbol of the cross. As symbol the cross is inescapable. It is as if God has impregnated the cross for all time and for all people. Why?

The cross is the great symbol of the Christian tradition but it is also a great symbol of the human experience. Wether you encounter the cross over a freeway or in a desert it says so many things to each of us at the same time it is hard to unpack its full meaning. To a Christian the cross speaks of salvation, redemption, forgiveness, transformation, even union with God. But to all of humankind it speaks to our interconnectedness, our oneness with all. It speaks to our brokenness, to the dilemma of the human condition, and shows the way to hope. Like it or not, accept it on not, the cross is constantly calling to all of humankind to return to our home in God.

Today’s Gospel text from John records Jesus as saying “when I am lifted up from the earth, I will draw all people to myself”. Biblical scholars have always seen this as a direct reference to Moses and the young Hebrew nation lifting a serpent on a cross to bring protection and healing during their 40 years of roaming the Sinai Desert. This pre-Babylonian symbol remains to this day as the symbol (logo) of the American Medical Association. There is another symbol of the cross the Hebrews gave us during their 40 years of being lost in the desert. God instructed them to build a tabernacle, a place of worship, a place to encounter God’s direct presence. Many engineers have tried to replicate the design of the wilderness tabernacle according to the blueprint that God gave to Moses and is recorded in the Book of Exodus. If you have ever launched on a read-through-the-Bible-campaign in a year it is these laborious chapters of Exodus, seemingly filled with only minutia where many give up on trying to read through the Bible. But there is a beautiful gem there that mostly goes unnoticed. God gave explicit instructions as to how the 12 tribes of Israel were to set up their camps around the tabernacle. Three tribes to the north, 3 tribes to the south. Three tribes to the west and 3 to the east. From God’s “arial” point of view this would form the shape of a perfect cross moving through the wilderness. And in the cross section of this human cross was where God tabernacled with His people. The story of the Exodus and the people of Israel wandering through the wilderness is the most frequently repeated story in scripture. And I see it as the first parable of scripture.

Later, the temples built by both David and Solomon followed this design element. In fact, it is a design element that has endured to this day. When you enter a Cathedral, an arial view will reveal it is shaped like a cross with the nave forming the vertical bar, the transept forming the horizontal. The intersection of the two is where you will find the altar, where God wants to tabernacle with us.

Not even a Dan Brown novel could reveal to us all the places the symbol of the cross appears throughout the world. Like the seemingly unnoticed, unbothered, old-rugged cross of Hollywood the cross is always before us. Sometimes it is obvious, sometimes it is hidden. In every land, every culture, every demographic, every time zone and every climate zone the cross of Jesus is there calling us back to God. Calling us to the intersection of life where God waits tabernacle with you and I.

Amen!

The Most Important Verse NOT In The Bible

2010-07-14T13:21:00.000-07:00

The Most Important Verse “Not” In The Bible

(Sermon given at Holy Cross Monastery)

RCL - Proper 8 - June 27, 2010

2 Kings 2:1-2, 6-14

Galatians 5:1, 13-25

Luke 9:51-62

In the name of God who calls us to celebration, who calls us to pursue community in our world, and who calls us to compassion in the midst of all human suffering. Amen!

Today’s lectionary readings are some of our richest texts on the Christian life. We began with Elisha modeling what it means to be a true disciple, a life of devotion to following Elijah, and Elisha’s reward of receiving a “double-share” of Elijah’s spirit. This text perfectly mirrors our Gospel reading.

Our New Testament reading took us to Paul’s letter to the Galatians where he reminds us that we are free in Christ, to “stand firm” in our freedom, to live by the spirit, and then that classic text where Paul compares the works of the flesh to the fruits of the Spirit.

Then we have the Gospel, the inhospitality of the Samaritans, James and John wanting to call down fire from heaven to destroy them and three would-be followers of Christ.

In fact there is so much richness in these texts the challenge for the preacher is to decide what to preach about. So you may find it odd that I have decided to preach on the text that is not here, the verse that was left out. In fact it just may be the most important verse that is not in the Bible

If your Bible has footnotes you’ll see that some ancient manuscripts insert an extra verse in today’s Gospel at Luke 9:56. When Jesus responds to James and John’s plea to call down fire from heaven and consume the Samaritans, Jesus says this: “You do not know what kind of spirit you are of, for the Son of Man did not come to destroy men’s lives, but to save them.”

Was it ethnic hostility on the part of the Samaritan’s that they did not welcome Christ and his traveling companions? Most likely it was. James and John exploded in rage with the desire to simply obliterate them. Hopefully they were speaking figuratively, not literally, about calling fire down from heaven. But that is little consolation given their desire for revenge. Instead of rebuking the Samaritans who rejected him, Jesus rebuked James and John who defended him. And then comes that extra verse that shouldn’t be in the Bible: “And Jesus said to them, ‘You do not know what kind of spirit you are of, for the Son the Man did not come to destroy men’s lives, but to save them.’”

Here’s a quick lesson in Apologetics. We have close to 6000 ancient manuscripts of the New Testament, some of them only bits and pieces of papyrus, some of them complete books. No other ancient text, like Homer or Aristotle for example, enjoys anything remotely close to this avalanche of manuscript evidence. When textual scholars--God bless them--compare, contrast and cross-check every last one of these manuscript fragments of evidence, they reach an overwhelming consensus that the Bible we read today is a mirror image of the texts as they were originally written. It’s true, we don’t have the original documents that Luke wrote, nor do we have the original text of any New Testament writer, and there are variants among the manuscripts. But with the volume of overwhelming evidence we have we are assured that we are not reading some corrupt approximation of what the original New Testament writers wrote. We are reading the real McCoy. (If we could only have such assurance in interpreting what is written.)

Unfortunately for me, this unprecedented textual evidence leads experts to reject my favorite addition to the Bible. So where did this extra verse come from. Most likely a later copyist inserted his own gloss at a much later date. So the way to read this verse is as a one-sentence commentary on Luke’s narrative. “Jesus didn’t come to destroy men’s lives but to save them.” James and John’s rage at the Samaritans is now turned into a teaching moment by Jesus. It is the sentiment of this non-verse that the narrative hinges on. Here is where we have the shift in energy, the shift in emotion, and the change in action. In fact this entire narrative story is considered the moment of shift for Luke’s entire gospel. The reading begin’s “When the days drew near for him (Jesus) to be taken up, he set his face to go to Jerusalem.” From here forward, the rest of Luke’s gospel is moving toward Jerusalem, moving toward the death, burial, resurrection and ascension of Christ.

Even though I have to concede that Luke most likely did not pen this verse I can rest assured its sentiment was known to him. Fast forward to Luke 19:10 and you’ll read “The Son of Man came to seek and save what was lost.” Compare this to John 3:17 “God did not send his son into the world to condemn the world.” And Matthew 18:11 has it own textual variant “The Son of Man came to save what was lost.”

When James and John invoked divine wrath on the Samaritans, they betrayed an attitude diametrically opposed to everything Jesus said and did. Right before this story, we have the story of John wanting to stop an exorcist from healing a person because “he was not one of us”. It seems these over-zealous disciples wanted Jesus’ love, and therefore God’s love, all for themselves. They transformed the good news of God’s unconditional and limitless love for all peoples into the bad news that God had it in for them. They were the in group so they got the “good news” of Christ love. The bad news was for everyone else.

Today, we have no shortage of religionist wanting to call down fire from heaven to destroy those they see as the out group. We have no shortage of those who are angered and enraged knowing they are in the right. And there is no changing their conviction that God is on there side and against everyone else. Most likely everyone here today has been on the receiving end of this message. The good news for us is that the message and sentiment of our non-verse is as true today as it ever has been. Thomas Keating has put this one-sentence commentary of Luke’s gospel into modern language by saying “You don’t have to win over God’s love, you have more than you know what to do with.”

Today’s Gospel text is really the turning point of the entire Gospel story. Jesus has “set his face toward Jerusalem” knowing what awaits him there. His days are numbered in getting his disciples to understand the real meaning of the good news. He wants his disciples to completely understand that the words of the Psalmist are to be claimed by all--for in Psalm 56 it says “this I know, that God is for me”.

Jesus was not a religionist. He was not a theologian. And the gospel writers give us account after account that Jesus had little patience for the religionist of his day. He often had little patience for his own disciples as demonstrated in today’s gospel. He came for a single reason: to put a stop to religion being an “exclusive club” for an in-group. He came to change hearts, heal lives, to make us whole, and to help us discover we are never away from God’s love. For Jesus the only thing, the entire thing, the greatest thing is to know you are loved by God. The additional verse added to the text of Luke 9:56 is clearly spurious, but the authentic voice behind its message is unmistakably original: “the Son of Man did not come to destroy men’s lives, but to save them.”

Amen!

Sermon for the Feast of the Annunciation

2010-03-28T18:55:00.000-07:00

Holy Toast

RCL—Annunciation—March 25, 2010

Holy Cross Monastery, West Park, NY

Br. Charles, n/OHC

RCL—Annunciation—March 25, 2010

Isaiah 7:10-14

Hebrews 10:4-10

Luke 1:26-38

Favored One

In our pantry we have a “gadget” called Holy Toast. It looks more like a cookie cutter. The idea is you press the mold into a piece of bread and as you toast it an image of Mary will appear. Well one day my curiosity got the better of me and I tried it. I pressed the mold into a slice of bread, put it into the toaster and waited. When my toast popped up no image of Mary had emerged. I shrugged my shoulders and thought...Mary does not make appearances to a Baptist.

When you grow up Southern Baptist you learn quickly that Mary is just a “B” actress in God’s theater. A bit player with only a small part to play. Jesus is what the show is all about and the only central character. All others simply have a small minority role.

When I was about 12 or 13 years old a Catholic family moved into our Baptist neighborhood. They went to church on Saturday afternoons, went to the beach on Sundays, had a house full of kids. They had many strange behaviors that made them all very suspect in our Baptist world. One of their sons was the same age as I and we became friends. I’ll never forget my Grandmothers reaction when she learned I had gone to church with him on a Saturday afternoon. I thought I would get extra credit for the additional time in church but she scolded “You didn’t pray to Mary did you? We don’t pray to Mary! We pray to Jesus!” The message was very clear--I had truly done something wrong by just being in a Catholic church.

So I must begin this morning by noting God’s great sense of humor in that the first sermon I am preaching in my monastic journey is about Mary. To this day, in fact as recently as last week, I still get questions of concern from my family about just where Mary fits into my faith, my worship, and my devotion. So I’ve learned to give a very evangelical response. In the God said it, I believe it, and that settles it philosophy of my upbringing I just say “God’s Word says Mary is the favored one and that settles it for me”.

Today is known as the Annunciation, the announcement of a divine birth by the archangel Gabriel. Gabriel is quite busy in this opening chapter to Luke’s gospel. He makes two visits to announce two different births; that of John the Baptist and that of Jesus. The stories hold both remarkable similarities and remarkable differences. But aren’t we in the middle of Lent? Isn’t Holy Week and our commemoration of Christ Passion quickly approaching? Shouldn’t the announcement of Christ’ birth come at the beginning of Advent? Here lies another conundrum for one who grew up Baptist and has embraced Liturgy late in his Christian formation. A little math will help us. Christ birth is celebrated on December 25th. Backing up 9 months from there we land squarely on March 25th.

I have always heard the Annunciation as a story about Jesus’ divine incarnation. To me it had always been a story about the miracle of a virgin birth, about God becoming man, and about God coming to live on earth among us. Today, I am no longer convinced that was Luke’s only agenda. The story Luke tells is very much a family story. It is a story of family scandal.

It is the story of a teenage girl, betrothed to be married. Not engaged in our sense of romantic love and weddings. Betrothal was a family arrangement where two families unite together. For Mary to turn up pregnant before the marriage takes place would be devastating news to both patriarchal families. It would result in great shame, humiliation and dishonor. This is the backdrop for Gabriel’s news for Mary.

This is the backdrop when Gabriel speaks to Mary saying “Greetings, favored one! The Lord is with you.” At that moment Mary had none of the status symbols required of her society to deem her a “favored one”. She had neither husband nor child to validate her existence. She was among the powerless people of her society. She was young in a world that values age. She was female in a world ruled by men. She was poor in a stratified economy. To say that Mary was perplexed by Gabriel’s greeting is one of the greatest understatements of all time. Not to mention that Mary also had to wrap her mind around the fact she was holding a conversation with an Angel.

Add it all up and you’ll see the facts conspire against Mary being a favored one.

Today, many assume and some erroneously preach that those who God favors will be blessed with social standing, wealth and good health. To be favored by God is equated with the good life. Yet Mary, God’s favored one, was blessed with having a child out of wedlock. And next week we will follow that child as he is executed as a criminal. Status, comfort and prosperity have never been the trademarks of God’s blessing. This is a family story of scandal. The story has become so familiar to us that is familiarity masks the scandal.

If we read further in this first chapter of Luke we would see that Mary immediately goes to visit her Aunt, Elizabeth, who is six months pregnant with John the Baptist. Again our familiarity with the story masks the scandal. Is this the story of a divine encounter between two mothers-to-be carrying infants with a divine mission? Or is this the story of a family sending a young teenage girl off to stay with a distant relative because of an untimely pregnancy? Or is it a story about both?

Gabriel had a window into Mary’s mind and heart which is why he called her “favored one”. Under normal circumstances Gabriel’s announcement would have been devastating news. In calmness and composure Mary only asks one simple question; “How can this be, since I am a virgin?”. I wish we had time to set the annunciation story of John the Baptist, which occurs at the beginning of this chapter, side by side with Gabriel’s annunciation to Mary. In a similar story Zechariah questions how Elizabeth, his wife, will be able to conceive a child. But Zechariah asks a very different question than that of Mary’s. He questions “How will I know that this is so?”. Both Zechariah and Mary want to know how God will overcome the obvious obstacles of the physical body; one of old age, another of virginity. But Zechariah’s question goes further. He asks for proof. He asks for a sign. He asks in disbelief. And the archangel Gabriel was not amused. Zechariah’s disbelief left him mute and unable to speak until after John’s birth.

We see into the mind and heart of Mary from her response to Gabriel’s reply to her. “Then Mary said, ‘Here am I, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word.’” If Mary embodies a family scandal she also exemplifies the obedience that should follow from blessing. In the Rule of Benedict, our model for obedience in the monastic life, it states that obedience itself is a blessing. As I have prayed over these texts the past several weeks this is the passage that kept surfacing for me. “Here am I, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word.” Mary’s “yes” is unequivocal. It is an answer of profound faith. It is a statement of consent and of giving oneself fully to God. It is no-holds-barred obedience and the setting aside of her own fears and giving herself freely to God’s wishes. Her response was immediate. And in doing so Mary models for us detachment. She models for us the ultimate “letting go” of her concerns for herself and trusting God for the outcome.

The conundrum of this Advent story falling at the end of Lent is solved in seeing that the glory of Christmas and the glory of Easter are really about ordinary people saying “yes” to God. They are stories of what happens when we give our unequivocal consent. In doing so we are the ones scandalized as we allow God to lay full claim to our lives.

In Christ Name, Amen

Practicing His Presence

2010-01-17T17:27:00.000-08:00

Monastic Chapel at Holy Cross Monastery

Picture Originally Uploaded by Br. Randy

Spiritual Practices seem to be a dime a dozen now-a-days. And if one’s profession is leading retreats on the spiritual life you become an official collector of “spiritual practices”. Benedictine spirituality has been turned into a cottage industry. You know it is the “in” thing to practice Benedictine spirituality when most of the books on the market are written, not by Benedictine Monks, but by the laity. And if the number of book titles is an indicator for how “in” a spiritual practice is Centering Prayer (or Contemplative Prayer) would be a close second to Benedictine spirituality. I, for one, am quite pleased to see both Benedictine and Contemplative spirituality go mainstream for our culture seeking a deeper meaning to life.

A smaller blip on the radar is a different class of spiritual practices like sleep, intentional knitting, and even grief. Probably none of these first came to mind when I mentioned the topic of spiritual practices. Yet books are being written about them and only look to your nearest retreat center for retreats on each of these subjects. They do have their place in the spiritual life. It would seem that any life-giving activity, any subject that nourishes us in a positive way, and any practice that can be offered to God with intention can become a spiritual practice.

Spiritual practices and disciplines have been the activity of monks since...well...since there have been Monks. Counting off prayers with rocks and stones, tying knots in a rope or using the breath to recite a mantra go all the way back to first century monastics. The goal was two-fold: to pray without ceasing until your entire life becomes a constant prayer to God, and to always be in God’s presence, constantly turning your mind toward God so you are never away from His presence. These are two very worthy goals. And the fact that we are still using some of these very practices today, some 2000 years later, substantiate there place in our collective spiritual psyche. Spiritual practices are literally in the DNA of the church having been passed down, not from generation to generation, but from millennia to millennia.

Why? The answer can be found in one word—Relationship! Our need and desire for relationship with God transcends any one religion or faith. Christian, Hindu, Buddhist, Muslim and Jew all seek to know the Divine One. This universal nature of all faiths gives us an insight as to why we share some of the same spiritual practices. Hindu’s and Christian’s have both practiced “breath prayers”. All five of these faiths hold in common counted prayer; either with a rosary, a prayer rope, malas, or knots tied in the fringe of a prayer shawl.

There is a spiritual practice that holds a very special place in my own life—Practicing the Presence of God. I first heard this phrase in the writings and teachings of Paramahansa Yogananda, a Hindu teacher of Yoga and meditation (not Yoga as in exercise but Yoga as a spiritual path to God). In the meditation society he founded, Self Realization Fellowship, the main emphasis of the spiritual life rested in your two periods of daily meditation. But almost equal to this was the emphasis placed on Practicing the Presence of God. The message communicated was even if you struggled in maintaining daily meditation periods, if you practiced God’s presence throughout the day you would still progress on the spiritual path. For years I thought this practice of holding God’s presence with you throughout the day originated in the teachings of Yogananda. Then one day I learned differently.

Br. Lawrence, a 17th century French monk, wrote extensively about practicing God’s presence. Today we have many of his letters were he extolled the spiritual benefits of this practice and the spiritual depth he gained in his own life. Entering the world of his letters is like seeing the curtain lifted between the physical and spiritual worlds. You discover a deep well of devotion and spiritual depth. Reading his letters is also a bit like ease-dropping on someone else’s conversation. Spiritual direction began through letters of counsel and encouragement from one Christian to another. And when you read the letters of Br. Lawrence you know you are listening in on a session of spiritual direction between two very Godly people.

Br. Lawrence’s abbot assigned him to the kitchen. His duties of cooking for his monastic community kept him so busy he was unable to join his community for the daily offices of prayer. So he began to talk to God constantly during his work, repeating over and over words of devotion, love, praise and adoration. He used his will to direct his thoughts to continually pray for God’s will and action within his life. He found he would do this for awhile and then something would grab his attention and his thoughts veered off on to something else. Then he would realize his thoughts were not with God and he would simply return to his prayers of devotion and love. He found doing this a struggle initially but as he continued it became more of a habit. It simply got easier. And he continued doing it. And as he did something remarkable happened. His prayers of love and praise became automatic and happened more and more naturally. So he continued his practice with more enthusiasm. And over time he discovered that he was praying even when his thoughts were engaged in another activity. He discovered he was praying at all times. No matter what his activity or state of mind, in the back of his mind he was constantly talking with God. Br. Lawrence had learned to “pray without ceasing” and in doing so found that God’s presence was constantly with him. If he found he was away from God’s presence he knew what to do—he returned to his practice of constantly talking to God in the language of his heart: I love you Lord, I love you Lord, you are my life, you are my life, thy will be done. Over and over, repeating his words of devotion unceasingly he found the joy of God’s presence always with him.

This sounds so simple. Almost too simple. It even seems a bit pedantic. And then I began to think about how our mind functions when we fall in love. Love begins with infatuation. Someone has caught our eye and we begin to constantly think of them. We let our interest in the other person be known and if the signals are received positively our thoughts become incessant. Does he like me, what is he thinking, what will I say when we first talk, and on and on the mind goes. Should all go well and the two people start to connect the non-stop dialogue within them really ramps up. We can go through an entire day of activity while never letting the other person, the object of new budding love, out of our mind.

What if we could fall in love with God? What if we could be that intimate with God? What if our love for God was so strong He was always on our mind, right behind every thought, even during our daily activities? This is exactly what Br. Lawrence discovered. He was so in love with God and so connected to God in relationship he couldn’t stop talking to God. It is a divine romance. I believe one of the gifts of our romantic experiences in life is to mirror what our relationship with God can be if we fully invested ourselves in it. (If that seems too much of a stretch for you I suggest reading the Song of Solomon. The metaphor between physical love and our intimate relationship with God is most beautifully expressed there.) And no romance stays at the level of infatuation. True love deepens. The day comes when all is needed is a loving glance to tell your beloved how much you love them. The day comes when all you need is just to be with one another. No words are necessary. Togetherness in silence speaks volumes. And so it is with God when we reach a place along the spiritual journey where we can just “be” with God in silence. When we do something mundane, like walking down a corridor, or we do something profound, we take God with us. We hold God’s presence in our thoughts and in our hearts...continually.

If I found myself restricted to having only one spiritual practice to take with me through life my choice would be an easy one. Practicing the Presence of God would win the place of honor hands down. Let me share the words from one who knows much better than I.

“And how can we pray to Him without being with Him? And how can we be with Him without thinking of Him often? And how can we think of Him often without forming the holy habit of being in His presence? You may tell me that I am always saying the same thing. It is true, for this is the best and easiest method I know. In it is the resolution to all other spiritual problems. And since I know of no other method, I advise all the world to follow this one.”

The words of Br. Lawrence from the book Practicing His Presence

Bumper Sticker Evangelism-Proof Texting Psalm 109

2009-11-23T06:58:00.000-08:00

The King James Bible. A favorite for the practice of Proof-Texting

Original Photo Uploaded by Cloister-Walk

I heard someone describe Facebook as “the tie that binds”. This is taking ancient language to describe modern technology. And it completely juxtaposes our ideas of being original. There is really nothing original about people connecting with people. There is nothing original about expressing thoughts, feelings and emotions from a safe place, maybe even an anonymous place. One low tech way of giving the old “shout out” is with Bumper Stickers. This week I saw the collision of high tech, low tech, modern and ancient all erupt on Facebook, that tie that binds.

A pastor of a Southern Baptist Church in central Florida posted comments about the newest bumper sticker to hit the political landscape: “Pray for Obama—Psalms109:8”. Upon opening his Bible and reading the reference he said he “started laughing and laughing”.

Here’s the full scripture reference: “...May his days be few, may another take his place of leadership”. This Psalm, specifically verses 5 through 19 is known as an imprecatory psalm: part of a group of Psalms known for being an extreme curse. When you take verse 8 in context with the entire plea of the psalmist it becomes quite clear as to what sentiment is being offered. “May his children be fatherless and his wife a widow. May his children be wandering beggars; may they be driven from their ruined homes. May a creditor seize all he has; may strangers plunder the fruits of his labors...” And on it goes but you get the idea. So this pray for Obama bumper sticker is not a call to hold up our President to God for support, leadership and guidance. And it certainly is not a call to pray for God’s blessings on our President. It is a call to pray for his total destruction. It is a call to pray for his death.

From Facebook to BeliefNet to Rachel Maddow to all over the blogosphere the message of this bumper sticker has struck very deeply into the cultural nerves of our society. Personally I was both saddened and disturbed by this Facebook post on many levels. A minister is laughing at the sentiments of this? Someone charged with pastoral care of society and telling the good news would agree to using scripture as a weapon? Preaching God and country has come to mean praying for the death of our president if we disagree with his policy? We’ve gone completely over the edge of keeping civility in our public dialogue. The words of Ghandi have never rung more true. When asked what he thought of western civilization he simply replied “I think it would be a good idea”.

For the better part of the week I have found myself really hooked on this subject. It has captured a fair amount of my thought life. I’ve learned over time to recognize when this is happening and to stop, take a look and ask why it matters so much to me. Well, there are a whole bunch of reasons this bumper sticker would hook me.

I grew up in the South and I grew up in the Southern Baptist church. It was more than my church home, it was my culture. Today I am a Monk and much of my life revolves around the Psalms. I pray through the Psalter every two weeks. The centrality of the Psalms to monastic worship and life is at the heart of the culture I live in today. I have a great affection for scripture. And one of my passions is to share with others the rich meaning of scripture and how it becomes the lens to how we see and view God. In short I want to help people make friends with the Bible and fall in love with it. When you put all of this together Psalm 109:8 becomes the perfect storm within me.

Using scripture as a weapon is not new. Peter Gomes, in his classic The Good Book, eloquently writes how scripture has been used to justify slavery, the oppression of women and today the oppression of gays and lesbians. It seems there has always been an out group that those on the inside had scripture to justify them. Even Jesus dealt with this. Remember the woman caught in the act of adultery? The Pharisees, aka the religious right of Jesus’ time, were ready to stone her and had scripture, the law of Moses, on their side. After bending down to write in the sand Jesus simply said “he who is without sin let him cast the first stone”. I have always imagined Jesus bending over to write a list of sins in the sand in front of each of her accusers. The Pharisees, confronted with their own faults, simply walked away in shame.

The use of lifting a single verse of scripture to make your case is not new either. It is a practice called “proof-texting”. The practice goes something like this. When you’re debating any social, cultural or theological issue he who can quote the most scripture verses wins the argument. And for anyone wishing to lay down a rebuke of just about anything they disagree with you on, they simply need to quote a verse of scripture and they trump you every time. References to God’s Word being sharper than a two-edged sword gave rise to the phrase “sword of the Lord” and justified using scripture to slay your opponents.

In the Baptist culture I grew up in we were literally trained in using scripture this way. The message was simple and clear. We are always at battle with the forces of evil. And anyone who challenges our biblical view is of the devil. Quote scripture, over talk your opponents with scripture, and use a scripture reference to solidify every point you make. To ensure you are well prepared to do this there were endless Bible drills. Scripture references were memorized, Bible drills were conducted were a scripture reference would be cited and the first person to step forward having found the reference in his Bible received a reward. Naming all 66 books of the Bible in order got you extra credit. It was competitive and effective. If you didn’t know the Minor Prophets and how to find them fast you had no hope of winning the Bible drill. Then to solidify the skills learned through Bible drills you went out in groups to go soul winning. This is that fundamentalist practice where you canvas out in the parking lot of your local mall and accost perfect strangers, telling them they are sinners going to hell unless they repent and pray the sinners prayer with you. When you get a person who engages you and pushes back you start firing off your canon of scripture verses. There is an almost magical belief in the power of scripture much like a cleric holding up a cross to ward off a vampire in a dark classic movie.

If you thought this behavior was relegated to the Bible belt south of the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s and certainly by now we had evolved to a higher level of civility think again. The movie Jesus Camp documented this level of indoctrination and training of youth. More disturbing still Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Dallas, TX, has just launched a “Taking the Hill” campaign. Check out their website to see seminary students dressed in army fatigues carrying assault rifles rolling into battle in humvees in a full fledged para-military operation. What exactly are they up to? Converting their neighbors to their brand of Christian belief. Its mind boggling I know but our Lord’s command to love God with all your heart and to love your neighbor as yourself has been translated into G I Joe storming over his enemies with guns, tanks and bombs. There is a very strong message here: convert or die, repent or burn.

From assault bumper stickers to assault evangelism we are left with an exegetical/hermeneutical crises with scripture. There has never been a time where we need to return to Paul’s words to “rightly divide the word of truth”. That begins with seeing the panoramic view of scripture along with understanding the historical/cultural dimension of scripture. Only then can we keep proper perspective on passages like the imprecatory Psalms. What I so value about the Psalms is you will find every single human emotion expressed. But the psalmist always returns to the first person and our own relationship with God. To spend just a little bit of time with Psalm 109 you’ll see that this is a prayer, a plea if you will, for deliverance from oppression and the psalmist ends with praise of God’s sovereignty.

Most importantly all scripture, and especially the psalms, gives us a window into the relationship with God held by people of long ago. We see how people of a different time, culture and age knew and related to God and through their experience of God we are lead into our own experience and relationship with God. What we so often forget when we read scripture is that their lives were fluid, moved from day to day, traveled from experience to experience, and were ever changing. And that is no different from our lives today. But when they recorded their experiences with God the moment becomes frozen in time, static and one dimensional. Scripture does not teach us to see God in a static, one dimensional way based on a culture thousands of years older than ours. God is still at work. God is still moving through his people. God is still redeeming mankind back into relationship with Him. It is why we call the spiritual life a journey. And we journey with scripture as a guide to deepen our own relationship with God.

I love the way the Renovare Spiritual Formation Bible expresses this concept. They call it the “With-God Life”. This means the Bible is all about human life with God. Ultimately the Bible tells one story of God’s relationship with all of humankind. The panoramic view is God reveals Himself to two individuals: Adam and Eve. From there God works and mediates with families like Noah. Then the narrative moves toward an ethnic community as God works with tribes and a “people”. Soon we have the development of a nation Israel whose sole purpose is to reveal God and be a blessing to all. But the narrative of scripture continues into the development of an all inclusive community of God’s people and nation—what we understand as the Church and the mythical Body of Christ. At all times through this narrative of the with-God life, of God revealing Himself to individuals, to families, to peoples, to nations, to an all-inclusive community, we find another over-arching thread moving through scripture. That thread is God relating to us, the one on one and intimate nature of our direct relationship with God.

When we see scripture as an integrated whole the entire concept of proof-texting falls away. And here lies the secret of the Bible that causes me to love it so much. We have a compendium of 66 different books, written by an unknown number of authors over 1000’s of years but it holds only one narrative. The narrative of God-With-Us. The imprecatory psalms to curse and destroy our enemies really becomes a prayer of deliverance for ourselves. As C. S. Lewis has noted it directs us back to the festering hatred within us with the sole purpose of conversion, to root it out of our hearts. It is a prayer that humbles us before God. It is not intended to hang as an IED over the tailpipe of your car.

I don’t do a lot of journaling. But when something speaks powerfully to me it makes it into my journal. Awhile back I happened upon a quote from Chris Wright on the urgency of reading the Bible as one story, one narrative. For me it is the consummate lens to view scripture by.

“The whole Bible renders to us the story of God’s mission through God’s people in their engagement with God’s world for the sake of God’s creation.”

Our call as God’s community is our consent to God’s invitation to God’s mission of redemption for all. This is not very high tech I know, but may it be the “tie that binds” us in God’s love.

Shanti

The Divine of the Daily

2009-11-15T12:37:00.000-08:00

Br. Charles with his Monastic Breviary praying the Divine Office

Picture by Rachael Elizabeth Photography

I was missing something. Years ago, during my many years in Los Angeles, I participated in a meditation conference each August. For a week the Bonaventure Hotel would fill up with about 3000 devotees intent on going deep in meditation. The days were filled with chanting, silence, instructional classes and lots of meditation periods. The best part was the final evening session. A one hour meditation in a ballroom holding nearly 3000 people all meditating together. It is a powerful experience like no other.

I have long known the experience of meditating with others causes one to go deeper than meditating alone. And that was what I was missing. I am pretty established in my morning and evening times of Centering Prayer. But I was longing to pray in a group. So off I went to the Garrison Institute for a retreat called Heartfulness—Transformation in Christ, conducted by Contemplative Outreach. And the desire of my heart was granted for each day included long periods of Centering Prayer. With about 100 attendees I was truly feeling the good energy and support during my prayer periods. It was a 6 day silent retreat. So I didn’t learn peoples names or have any of those get-to-know-you conversations. But the bonding was strong and meaningful. When you spend a week in long periods of silent prayer with other Christians your bond is stronger than any conversation could accomplish.

About half way through the retreat I discovered I was missing something once again. I was certainly getting my needed boost in Centering Prayer but oh how I missed praying the Daily Office. Praying the Offices, keeping the hours Holy, praying the prayer that Christ Himself prayed, or as St. Benedict says “praying the divine office is the true work of God”, is a spiritual practice that I have come to depend on. It sustains me.

The fact that I was at a retreat doing a practice I had missed, then finding myself missing another practice was a dichotomy not lost on me. Am I just always wanting what I don’t have at the current moment, am I never satisfied, am I more focused on what I don’t have instead of what I do have? Or has living in a Monastery for the past 14 months really changed the rhythm of my daily prayer life and has praying the Divine Office really gotten into my core being? I hope it is the latter. Regardless I had to chuckle at myself over this realization and concluded that the perfect retreat for me would be a retreat with lots of group Centering Prayer that keeps the Daily Office. (Stay tuned—I may be leading such a retreat in 2010.)

In Robert Benson’s recent book “In Constant Prayer” (hey—I like his title!) he points out that praying the Daily Office is meant to be prayed by all the faithful of the Church. If you are a keen reader you may have noticed I am switching titles between Divine Office and Daily Office. Both are correct. The practice is known by many names actually: fixed hour prayer, the liturgy of the hours, canonical hours, divine hours, daily prayer to name a few. But the two names that exchange daily for divine represent a metaphor for the practice. It makes the daily divine and brings the divine into the daily. Praying the Psalms at regular intervals throughout the day, as many as seven times a day, brings the divine into the daily. And the dailyness of our lives becomes merged into the divine.

"Seven times a day I praise you..." Psalms 119:164

So what is the Daily Office? It is a form of prayer and worship where we offer ourselves to God. It is a prayer of devotion, a time where we let go. It is not filled with intercessions and prayer requests. Because this is not when we ask God for anything. In fact we don’t even pray with our own words. We pray God’s words, specifically we pray the Psalter.

St. Benedict says in his Rule that “we believe the divine presence is everywhere....but beyond the least doubt we should believe this to be especially true when we celebrate the divine office”. And that is the power of chanting the psalms to God at fixed hours throughout the day. Every two weeks the entire psalter is prayed. And over time it really does work its way into your heart and soul.

For me there is another mystery the Divine Office holds. I know when I pray the Daily Office I am praying the same prayer that Jesus prayed. The gospels are full of stories of Jesus being at the temple and praying at the synagogue. Even an elementary reading of the Gospels makes it pretty clear that much of His ministry centered around the places of worship for first century Judaism. If you were a devout Jew you gathered to pray the psalms at fixed hours throughout the day. We also know that Jesus as a child was schooled in the local synagogue. And I have no doubt that Jesus carried the psalms in His heart by having memorized the psalter. Many of the words and prayers of Jesus recorded in the Gospels are based in the Psalms. And at the most critical time of his life, that single moment between life and death, hanging on a wooden cross in extreme agony we cannot imagine—what did Jesus do—He prayed Psalms 22:1 “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?”. I have thought many times about the human response when faced with sudden danger, fear or terror. Many times the human response is an expletive. For Jesus His response was to pray the Psalms. That is just how strongly the Psalter had become engrafted into Him. To the point it becomes His first reaction at the absolute worst moment of His life.

It is true that the Opus Dei of keeping the Divine Office is the most fundamental of monastic practices. But resting in God’s presence through the Daily Office is a gift for all Christians. To borrow a phrase from the late Robert Webber it is “intimate contact with the ancient future”. It is intimate contact with the Divine in a practice as ancient as the exiled Hebrews of the Babylonian period. It is as if they knew something we need to be reminded of today. To structure your day where you are never more than a few hours from prayer is to interrupt the secular with the divine, making the daily holy.

Monastic Choir Stalls where Monks pray the Divine Office

Picture originally uploaded by Cloister-Walk

And now I will interrupt this blog to go and ring the bell to call myself and my brothers to prayer. The vesper light is falling.

O Blessed Trinity of Light

And central Unity of might;

As sunlight changes into night,

May charity as light be bright.

To you we sing our morning praise,

To you our evening prayers we raise;

May we be blest for endless days

To praise and glorify your name.

The Anglican Rosary

2009-10-20T11:39:00.000-07:00

And now, back to our regularly scheduled programming...Thank you for indulging me in a bit of whimsy yesterday.

There is an old Oriental proverb that says when the student is ready the teacher appears. Almost 3 years ago now I became very interested in the Anglican Rosary, or Anglican Prayer Beads, as they are sometimes called. The structure of the rosary, the layers of symbolism they hold, and the prayers associated with the rosary all caught my attention. And I wanted to learn how to make the rosary.

Anglican Rosary made in Rose Quartz, Cloisonne Cruciform Beads, a Silver Cross, and a Hand Painted Pantocrator Icon from Israel

Picture Originally Uploaded by Cloister Walk

While having breakfast with a friend, a friend who does beautiful bead work and custom jewelry, I asked what would be involved in learning to make rosaries. The rest is history as they say. She became my private teacher and I was the ready student. Soon I had a beading studio set up and was turning out rosaries left and right, all different shapes and sizes, many in semi-precious stones, some in beautiful woods, all uniquely different. My quest for unique crosses is never ending. From California to New York a rosary ministry has taken shape.

God has also blessed me with some very powerful moments centered around the rosary. One night I arrived bedside next to a dying Brother struggling with every breath. It took my breath away when I noticed he was clutching a rosary, made from carnelian and turquoise, that I had made for him. Once a parishioner arrange to meet with me after Sunday services as she wanted to select a rosary for herself. A few days later I learned she had a heart attach that very Sunday evening. Thankfully she made a full recovery. When I next saw her at church she shared with me that as she was taken by ambulance to the hospital her rosary was clutched tightly in her hand and it sustained her in God's presence throughout her hospital stay. There were no words to express my own emotions over this.

An Anglican Rosary with a Coptic Cross

Picture Originally Uploaded by Cloister Walk

Since coming to Holy Cross Monastery and entering the Novitiate I have been making many more rosaries and now they are available through our book and gift shop. I also wrote a brochure to explain the rosary and how to use it in prayer. I recently posted it on Facebook and it generated a bit of interest. So I also thought I would offer it here for my blog readers.

The Anglican Rosary

by Br. Charles

The Anglican Rosary blends the Marion (Roman Catholic) and the Orthodox Jesus Prayer Rope together. And as a contemplative Christian who learned to meditate using Sandalwood Beads, they are reminiscent of Hindu prayer beads as well. In fact all religious and spiritual traditions have utilized prayer beads as a method to interiorize themselves in prayer.

The design of the Anglican Rosary begins with a cross or heart, followed by an invitatory bead, 4 cruciform beads, and 4 sets of 7 beads each known as weeks. This gives you a total of 33 beads that are prayed, 1 for each year of Christ life.

For me, praying the Anglican Rosary, has become a method for contemplative prayer and meditation. Following the circle around the rosary symbolizes the wheel of time and our journey with Christ. It represents our spiritual pilgrimage in our Christian walk. It brings mindfulness to the practice of prayer. Also there is a tactual sense in praying the rosary. By touching upon each bead it helps to keep ones mind from wondering and creates a rhythm of prayer that leads to stillness.

Begin by selecting a set prayers from the group below. Practice verbally saying the prayer that goes with each bead. In time you will want to commit the prayers to memory.

Go to a quiet place and just sit in silence for a few moments. Then take a deep breath and completely exhale. Repeat this 3 times. Enjoy the silence and stillness this brings. Then begin with your prayer for the cross while holding the cross. Slowly and with intention move next to the invitatory bead and the prayer for it.

Then as you come to the first cruciform bead you are entering the circle of the rosary. Follow with the prayer for the cruciform and then the prayer for the weeks. Say each prayer slowly, meditatively and with intention. Follow all the way around the rosary circle and then sit in a period of silence. When you are ready begin praying the circle a second time. Follow with a period of silence. Prayer the rosary circle 3 to 5 times and then exit the rosary by praying on the invitatory bead and then the cross.

Sit in silence and stillness for as long as possible. You may want to continue to recite a phrase from the psalms. Or enjoy a time of reflection and listening to the presence of God.

Prayer #1

Cross

In the name of God the Creator, God the Redeemer, and God the Sustainer. Open my heart to Your grace and truth.(BCP, p305)

Invitatory Bead

Spirit of the living God, come as a gentle breeze and dwell in my heart.

(1 Kings 19:9-13)

Cruciform Beads

My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord. My spirit rejoices in God my Savior. (Luke 1:46)

The Weeks

Holy Jesus, Merciful Redeemer, enfold my spirit within Your Spirit. (John 17:23)

Prayer #2

Cross

In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit

Invitatory Bead

The Lord’s Prayer. Our Father in heaven… (Luke 11:2)

Cruciform Beads

“Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us now and at the hour of our death.” (Luke 1:42-45)

The Weeks

The Jesus Prayer. “Lord, Jesus Christ, Son of (the living) God, have mercy on me a sinner. (Matthew 9:27)

Prayer #3

The Cross

In the name of the living God, Creator, Christ and Holy Spirit.

Invitatory Bead

Almighty God, open our hearts to Your Holy and life-giving Spirit. (Romans 2:29)

Cruciform Beads

“All shall be well, all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.” (Dame Julian)

The Weeks

“O God, You are my God, eagerly I seek You.” (Psalm 63:1)

Prayer #4

The Cross

All glory and honor to the Holy and blessed Trinity (Revelation 4:9)

Invitatory Bead

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in time of trouble. (Psalm 46:1)

Cruciform Beads

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless God’s holy name. (Psalm 103:1)

The Weeks

Come, Lord Jesus, draw us to yourself. (John 12:32)

A Gift of "Heartfulness"

2009-10-19T13:07:00.000-07:00

I’ve gone completely giddy this Fall. Fall has long been my favorite season of the year with Winter a close second. The splendor and richness of the Fall leaves and colors has been “over the top” this year in the Hudson River Valley. It is as if God’s paintbrush has splashed all of my favorite colors over the landscape in wild abandon.

I know, I know...I’ve said my blog would be to reflect on prayer and the spiritual journey. And for those of you who have been following my blog for any time at all you will know I’ve written heartfelt reflections, doing my best to open myself and reveal from within. But now I need a moment to put all seriousness aside and just be joyful in the gifts of Fall. Specifically the gifts of Falls wools and cottons.

Falls Bounty-A Basket of Plenty

Originally Uploaded by Cloister-Walk

This past weekend was the New York State Sheep and Wool Festival. I was aching to go. Literally aching. But I stayed home. Just a visit to their website made me apoplectic with desire. (Not a very Monastic emotion!) This show is a big deal. Just check their web site and you’ll see what I mean. The part that really hooked me was knowing there would be vendor after vendor displaying unique and hard-to-find yarns. Several guest staying at the Monastery this weekend were planning to visit. And I gave some serious thought to asking for a day off to go. But as I thought about our very full guesthouse, the need to not over-burden my brothers with extra work by my absence, not wanting to miss our monthly Peace Vigil, and knowing I had already missed to much time from our corporate lives due to a recent bout with the flu I decided to just hunker down, stay home, and be grateful for all that I already have.

So imagine my joy when one of our guest, Nadine, returned from the Wool and Sheep Festival with two amazing bags of yarn. A gift of love for Br. Bernard and I, the two yarn addicts in the community. She obviously gave this a lot of thought. She selected two of the most beautiful yarns my eyes have ever set upon. And she picked yarns perfect for each of us.

Creme Brulee by Decadent Fibers

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Br. Bernard's yarn is called “Creme Brulee” by Decadent Fibers. Decadent it truly is! Merino wool, silk, and mohair. You almost just want to lay it in your lap and cuddle it like a kitten. I couldn’t help but laugh reading on the label “Confections for the Yarn Artist”. A palette of rich jewel tones in wine, cranberry, claret, and an icy purple says that the coming Winter season will be far from a colorless season.

Pot Luck Yarn by Persimmon Tree Farm

Originally Uploaded by Cloister-Walk

Yes...it is a temptation to covet my Brothers yarn except for that second bag of beauty from Nadine. Pot Luck Yarn by Persimmon Tree Farm; a bundle of wool and mohair, delicately textured with the finest hand and drape I’ve ever seen. Can you say lace! This one has kept me lying awake in bed at night imagining how it will work up in different stitch designs. The colors couldn’t be more “me”. Teals, periwinkles, a soft red, a touch of coral and savory greens all blended into a painterly Fall landscape.

When you are a yarn enthusiast like I am words are inadequate in expressing the gratitude felt in receiving such a beautiful gift. Saying “thank you” just doesn’t do it. If you’re a yarn enthusiast yourself you know what I mean. It is a gift of “heartfulness”. A gift that delights the senses, the mind and the heart and soul.

A Gift of Heartfulness

Originally Uploaded by Cloister-Walk

One of the greatest lessons I’ve received this past year, living in a Monastery, receiving guest week after week, are the many gifts we receive from our guest. No, no—not tangible, physical gifts—but the intangible ones. Mainly the gift of themselves. It takes me time, especially since I’m a definite introvert on the Meyers-Briggs scale, but slowly over this past year I have been getting to know more and more of our guest, sharing in their stories and journey, and building a common bond in Christian fellowship.

Our Prior, Br. Bede, loves to share stories. One of my favorites was shared during one of the major holidays during the past year. I forget which one but it was one of the big ones, like Easter or Thanksgiving. For some reason the brothers had thought it would be nice to celebrate the holiday with just the community, without guest. They did, and they hated it. Without the presence of our guest the joy of the holiday faded.

I find by Sunday afternoon I am physically weary and ready for a rest. But by Tuesday afternoon when I begin to see guest arriving it is like the guesthouse awakens. It refills with good energy and comes to life. Each person brings a story. Sometimes it is many stories. Each person is on a journey. We get to hold those stories and share in their journey. Sometimes in a small way and sometimes in a big way. I’m glad they come. During their visit we will pray many times together in our chapel, we will sit in silence before God, we will receive the sacrament of communion together, we share meals, and the rhythm of our lives will weave together for a time. St. Benedict got it right when he wrote in the Rule we pattern our lives by “to receive all guest as Christ”. Christ truly does visit us in each and every person that comes.

Walking through our guesthouse each day I’ve been spotting more and more yarn crafters. Knitters, crocheters, needle pointers, you name it...if it involves yarns they’re here. There is something about the contemplative atmosphere of a monastery that is very welcoming to yarn crafters. Br. Bernard and I are planning our first retreat together on yarn crafting. Prayerful Stitches—Co-Creation in Yarns and Needles is set for this January. I have been very energized in planning it. A balance of meditations and reflections, lots of time for yarn crafting, and sharing our journeys with one another will fill the days of the retreat. For me it will be another opportunity in sharing in the gifts of our guest, their presence with us and deepening the bond we share on the spiritual journey.

I can hardly wait until January and our time together for this special retreat. Until then I will be crocheting in co-creation with my Pot Luck Yarn so generously gifted to me by Nadine. A gift of “Heartfulness” indeed!

Rachael

2009-10-12T12:58:00.000-07:00

Young parents agonize over the naming of a new baby. Naming your progeny, something they will carry with them no less than all of their life, is a big deal. Naming a child becomes an extension of your very own identity and carries all of your hopes and dreams for the future. A child’s name shapes their future identity as well. So what could two parents have been thinking when they settled on a name meaning “ewe”?

The naming of our children were one of the few things my ex-wife and I agreed on. It was actually an easy process for us. Our goal was clear—biblical names with an hidden family reference, spiritual role models to aspire to—David Paul for our son and Rachael Elizabeth for our daughter.

Rachael is one of those great names from the Hebrew scriptures. It takes you all the way back to the great patriarchs of Genesis. Rachael is the central figure to one of the greatest love stories in all of scripture. Jacob meets Rachael at a well and falls head over heels in love. So in love he was willing to serve her father seven years for her hand in marriage. But Jacob was tricked. The big wedding was followed by the big wedding night which was followed by the morning after when Jacob discovered Leah, Rachael’s older sister, in his marriage bed. Jacob pressed his father in law only to be told if you want Rachael’s hand in marriage serve me another seven years. And he did just that. Once more, scripture does not record one complaint about his 14 years of service. Jacob was so in love with Rachael 14 years went by like 14 days. (Times have certainly changed haven’t they? Nowadays we tag a six month old relationship as “LTR”.)

Rachael teaches us one of life's most important lessons. Rachael thought she had to earn Jacobs love, by being able to give him sons. She tried again and again to gain from Jacob what he had already freely given her: his complete love and devotion. All she needed to do was to receive it. And it is just like that between us and God. We can’t earn God’s love and devotion because it is already ours. He has already given it completely to us. We just have to learn to receive it.

The name Rachael means “ewe”. That’s ewe as in sheep. Not a very flattering name at first gloss. But in this case it is a name pointing to something. Or to be more exact a name pointing to someone—Jesus Christ, the Lamb of God. The Old Testament story of Rachael points us to Christ on the cross, a sacrifice for all of humankind, to bring reconciliation of our relationship with God, the purest form of love freely poured out for you and for me. My daughter Rachael has a unique handle for her e-mail address and I have often wondered if she choose it based on the significance and symbolism of her name. Her e-mail handle is lamb-consecrated.

The family gene between Rachael and I has manifested itself in two passions we both hold in common: crochet and photography. With both of these passions Rachael outdoes her Dad in skill, talent and gift. But holding these in common has given us some treasured times together. Her recent visit to the Monastery came with the unexpected gift of days filled with both needle work and photography.

Rachael's Prayer Shawl

Originally Uploaded by Cloister-Walk

It was during this together time that I began a new prayer shawl project. When I purchased the yarn I hadn’t specifically thought about it for Rachael. But she loved it when she saw it. A beautiful textured wool from Cascade Yarns, a 100% undyed Peruvian Highland wool they call Ecological Wool. It comes in a handful of neutral colors all dependent on the colors of the lambs wool. From soft white to cream to a heather brown to a deep charcoal the colors connect you to the animals and the land from which they come. As your hook pulls the yarn and weaves it into new life, strands of hair and even an occasional sliver of straw emerge. It grounds you to another culture, another time.

Rachael's Prayer Shawl

Originally Uploaded by Cloister-Walk

Susan Gordon Lydon, in her book “Knitting Heaven and Earth”, compares the sensual experience of yarn to that of a good wine. The earth, the soil, the climate, the cold, the heat, the sun, the moisture all end up in the grape that makes the wine. Likewise the animals who gave up their wool, the land and people that sustained them, all who touched the wool from hillside to store all leave their energy print in the yarn. One stitch at a time the yarn evolves into something completely new. As if the wool began with incarnation, devolved to de-incarnation, and was reborn to reincarnation its life cycles on and on.

In her same book, Lydon explores another aspect of yarncraft--its ability to heal the heart. The simple practice of a needle pulling thread allows us to journey back into our lives following the threads that knit us together. I think women have long known this. Women can sit together sewing, quilting, or knitting and without saying a word process their deepest emotions. I don’t have adequate words to express the depth of the experience of a Dad sitting with his daughter on a sofa crocheting together. The struggles of the past, her less than optimal childhood (way, way less than optimal) my failures as a father, a literal mountain of obstacles that could have stood between us all melted away. Sitting on a sofa with yarn in hand, sharing a common passion, became a moment of a deeply shared love, a moment to deeply connect with another spirit and heart.

Cascade Yarn Ecological Wool-Undyed Peruvian Highland Wool

Originally Uploaded by Cloister-Walk

Week after week following her visit I sat with this yarn stitching it into something new. Bands of three alternating colors, a very lacy stitch design and holding onto the memory of our time together. I never know how long it will take me to complete a yarn project when I start it. There are way to many variables to get locked into a time schedule. But as providence would have it the last stitch fell into place on her birthday. With a final yarn over followed by a fastening off and a weaving in of the last thread Rachael’s Prayer Shawl was born.

Crochet has become one of the deepest ways to express love for the people in my life. You can put a value on the yarn itself but you can’t put a value on the time you spend crocheting your fingers to the bone in what I call the long-haul labor of love. In the words of MasterCard the shared emotions and experiences, the spirit connection and the heart strings that are woven together in yarn craft are “priceless”. From baby blankets to afghans for the elderly yarn takes us through the journey of life.

The Shakers have a saying “hands to work, hearts to God”. Once again, Lydon in her book “Knitting Heaven and Earth” poses the question: “can it be that we become more capable of loving when our hands engage in creation and that those around us who are hurting or vulnerable are soothed and succored by being tied to the movements of our hands?”. And I will pose the question that isn’t this the lesson learned from the story of Jacob and Rachael as his hands labored 14 years giving his love and devotion freely, completely unearned? Isn’t this what God’s love is all about?

From the Monastery Rite of The Holy Eucharist

“Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world: have mercy on us

Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world; have mercy on us

Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world: grant us peace.”

The Spirituality of Being Sick

2009-09-23T16:52:00.000-07:00

The Cross is the Medicine of the World

Inscription Plaque above Monastery Entrance

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Can being sick be a spiritual practice? Dare say we call this a spiritual discipline? I have been forced to think about this question this week. We all know the drill. Fever over 100, chills, body aches, pounding headaches, your stomach feeling as though you have been punched, and the fear of not being too far away from a bathroom. Can a virus be a means to draw us closer to God? Is it a way of marking spiritual growth?

Many, many years ago, it was back in the 80’s, a dear friend said to me during a bout with the flu, that God was moving me to the next level. I knew she really meant it. Her statement was clear, strong, simple, full of conviction, and even carried authority. She spoke from her own experience. And this was not just any friend. She was powerful, successful, well-known, a celebrity. In fact she was one of televisions biggest celebrities—Judith Light. Co-star of ABC’s runaway hit “Who’s The Boss”, at the time the highest grossing sitcom ever on ABC.

I was blessed to call her my friend. Not because of her celebrity but because of her spirit and soul. In ways she will probably never know she taught me much about the spiritual journey. As I look back over my life she would rank in the top 3 of people I have known for the depth of their spiritual life. Her simple statement to me about God moving me to the next level through sickness struck a cord deep within. I’ve never forgotten it. And I am forced to think about it every time I come down with some bug.

Being sick is a cleansing process for the body. Fever burns up the virus killing it. As one slowly emerges from the illness a renewal of energy is experienced. And one of the great lessons that Judith helped me understand is what is happening within our body is happening within our soul.

For me there is an entire other spiritual dimension to being sick. That of learning to give up control. I’m a control freak. I go through life knowing all will be well as long as I can stay in control of my circumstances and surroundings. Being sick is a total loss of control. First it is the realization that some foreign substance has invaded my body against my will. With that comes the realization of not being able to function normally as I wish. Living in a monastic community has even brought new realizations of being out of control. I’m unable to join my Brothers for chapel services, meals, and our community functions. And everything I eat and drink is dependent upon one of them bringing it to me. In fact, while being sick, for just about anything at all I am dependent upon their help. One thing you should know about control freaks is that they hate putting others out for help. They want to just do for themselves.

I hear the bell ring for our daily prayer services and realize this is my week to ring the bell. Someone else is doing my job for me. I’m sure my presence is missed helping out with kitchen duty and all the other jobs and functions around the monastery. As I lay in bed to weak to lift my head I realize no one else is available to open the book store so it remains closed. That represents both a loss of ministry to our guest and a loss of income to our community. And finally an important appointment I had this week had to be cancelled. So besides just feeling miserable physically all of this puts me emotionally on edge. What to do?

The big lesson is I am not in control. The bigger lesson is even when I think I am in control I am really not. With these come a few more realizations. One of the ways my Brothers and I show our love for each other is to do what it takes to help each other out. I have certainly had my turn in ringing the bell for someone else. I have taken meals to a Brother to sick to come to the refectory. And I have certainly stepped in to do a myriad of jobs for others when necessary. I do so without giving it a second thought. In fact, when I am on the giving side of the equation, I feel validated in being useful. This is good for me to remember now that I am on the receiving end of the equation.

Barbara Brown Taylor talks about grief being a spiritual practice. The term spiritual practice conjures up disciplines like meditating twice a day, reading five chapters of scripture daily, praying the rosary, walking a labyrinth, on and on. We have to expand our normal definition of spiritual practices for it to include things like grief or being sick. But do these experiences increase our awareness of being dependent on God? Do these experiences cause us to realize we are not our own island but part of a larger community? Do they force us to admit our weaknesses and accept our need and dependance from others? The only answer to these questions is yes—they certainly do. And by saying yes we are saying they are one of the most important of all spiritual practices we go through.

Jesus healed the sick. But he didn’t take sickness away. He could have. He relieved their suffering but they still had the experience of being sick. Those he healed knew the difference between health and illness. They experienced both and all of the accompanying lessons that each brings. Our wholeness as human beings would be less without these experiences.

This bug is making its last stand in my body. I see light at the end of the tunnel and a return to normalcy is on the horizon. Soon I will rejoin my Brothers and fulfill my duties throughout the Monastery. That will be a very good feeling for me. But I will carry something with me in my re-entry. I will carry the knowledge that something old and unnecessary has been burned away from my life. I will know what it is like to be cared for instead of just being the caregiver. And I will carry with me a deeper sense of God’s love and the love of my community as I rejoin them. I will carry with me the experience of a loss of control and coming through it with everything turning out good.

Shanti

2009-09-21T14:32:00.000-07:00

“Creator God, Prince of Peace, Holy One: We come before you today with deep sadness over the warfare that violates your creation in many parts of the world. We commend to you all the men, women and children who have lost their lives in acts of violence. We ask you to teach the peoples and the leaders of nations to work for peace throughout the world.”

Fall at Holy Cross Monastery

Originally Uploaded by Cloister-Walk

With this prayer and the lighting of a candle, the Brothers of Holy Cross Monastery launched into Matins, Morning Prayer. But this is not the usual opening to Matins. This day will be different. It will be a day dedicated to praying for peace.

Three of our services will be given to our vigil for peace. In addition to Matins, our Mass, the celebration of the Eucharist, and noonday prayer are also dedicated to peace. Each service includes intentional prayers and remembrances for peace that I found very moving. At Eucharist, instead of the normal Paten and Chalice we used ones that had been fashioned from mortar shells from the Korean War. Objects of violence and destruction remade into objects of holiness, communion with God, objects of peace.

I lost an uncle to the Korean war. Not during the war but only after decades of a very difficult life did he finally find peace from his suffering. He was wounded by a mortar shell explosion. The shin area of his lower leg never healed. Many surgeries, many treatments, years of pain and agony, and a growing list of complications throughout his body plagued him the rest of his life. I was in my 30’s when the mortar shells of the Korean War finally won and he was laid to rest.

Our next service, and for me the one that moved me the most, was our midday Service for Peace. Our normal time for noonday prayer was given to this service. It opens with a special hymn, “Peace Before Us”. It is a very simple hymn and one of many prepositions. Five verses each with a primary subject: peace, love, light, Christ and then Peace once again. With each verse you are surrounded in the energy of its subject. “Peace before us, peace behind us, peace under our feet. Peace within us, peace over us, let all around us be peace.” Then the next verse on love and so it goes. It reminds me of the passage from Psalms where the psalmist writes “where can I go to escape the presence of God”.

By the time you sing through all five verses, hitting on all points of the compass within each verse, you find yourself centered, bathed if you will, in a felt experience of peace. When you connect that Peace, Love, Light, and Christ are all the felt and tangible experience of God the words of the psalmist reverberates deep within your soul.

The service continues with periods of silent prayer and meditation, special readings for peace, both from scripture and from modern day prophets of peace. As meaningful as I found each of these, none of them had the impact that the Prayers of the People did.

First we pray for all of those who died fighting in the Iraq war during the last month. Each soldier is named along with their age and home town. This past month had been a heavier month for casualties over the recent months. So the reading of names went on awhile. Hearing each name personalizes the cost of war. Just hearing these names puts a human face on the widespread loss war brings. Most of the ages would be in the 20’s. A few in the 30’s. But when I would hear of an 18 or 19 year old dying it broke my heart. All life is valuable. But when those who are so young are taken the pain feels greater. As I heard the names of their home towns I found myself wondering how the loss of these many souls affected their families and communities. I have even heard my own home town of Jacksonville, FL read out. Though I did not know the person I realize they, their families and friends were my neighbors.

Next, the Officiant leading the prayers states the number of Iraqi citizens killed from violence during the last month. The number always seems huge to me. Since we do not know their names we can only commend them to God and pray for their families.

Then this process begins all over again for those who died in Afghanistan during the past month. Another long list of names, the jarring realization that they were all to young to die, the listing of the many towns and communities they left behind. By this point I am working pretty hard not to tear up. As moving as this liturgy can be I realize the service is not about me and my own emotions over the casualties of war. It is a corporate worship experience and you simply do not step out of the liturgical envelope in these circumstances. But I was not the only one holding back tears. As I looked out over the guest court of our chapel I realized many were blotting tears and working to quiet their sniffles. It is a completely human response. A Godly one as well I would add. We are all standing together, holding our own brokenness over war in a single corporate act of worship. It is a holy moment.

During the periods between Matins, Mass and Noonday Prayer the Brothers keep a sitting vigil of prayer and meditation. We each take a turn in holding vigil for a half hour to pray for peace. We each bring to this time our own form of prayer we find most meaningful. Some do silent meditation, others Centering Prayer, still others Intercessory Prayer and even Lectio Divina. Each Brother offers the form of prayer that he finds significant. We invite our guest and also the local community to come and join us each month.

When it came my turn to sit in prayer and carry on the vigil I found myself asking do I carry peace within me. I started to remember the vengeful thoughts I had against someone for some little infraction into my morning. The more I thought about it I realized I carry in my thoughts a lot of IED’s. And when someone unknowingly steps on one I go off with my own little explosion. Oh, it is always held inside of me. But none the less it is unloving and unpeaceful energy toward another. I realize I have a lot of work to do to carry true peace within me toward all, even those who annoy or rub me the wrong way.

Unpeaceful thoughts may seem so insignificant when compared against countries at war. But Jesus taught us it is from our thoughts that war emerges. And it is only when enough of us decide to change our thoughts that we will move toward critical mass to diffuse the wars between countries. I’m not a political operative and I do not hold the power to stop the Iraq or Afghanistan war. But I do hold the power to stop, look at why someone or something is causing me to loose my peace and change the dynamic of what is really going on. When I do stop and do this I always discover that the real flaw is within me. I’m the one who is not living what Christ taught. I’m the one who is failing to bear the spiritual fruit of peace that Christ died for. I’m the one who needs to change.

This type of inner work and change is not easy or simple. I believe it only happens through lifelong spiritual practices. It is a constant work of analyzing what has upset us, identifying the real issues at stake, looking below the surface at the triggers to our inner responses and dialogues, then giving them to God, letting go of them, saying we want to change and really meaning it. We often validate our self worth over differences and divisions we see between us and others. We constantly carry an inner conversation about these differences. Changing the inner dialogue just takes a lot of prayer.

Here’s a prayer I use to do just that:

Say “Welcome” to the divine indwelling found in the feelings, emotions, thoughts, inner commentaries and sensations found in my body. Then “Let Go” of them by repeating the following sentences: “I let go of the desire for security, affection, and control. I let go of the desire to change this situation.” The ministry of Contemplative Outreach calls this the Welcoming Prayer and you can find more about it on their website. When I have lost my peace over some issue or circumstance, when I find a negative conversation circling around and around in my head, and I’m launching mortars and IED’s toward another I wake myself up and move into this “Welcoming Prayer”. For it to be truly effective I need to spend time in introspection to really discover how and why I got so hooked into something in the first place.

Our minds can be an object of violence or an object of peace. Like the mortar shells from the Korean War that were remade into vessels of peace to serve holy communion our minds can be remade as well. I truly think this is what the Apostle Paul was saying when he wrote “put on the mind of Christ”. He was saying “change your thinking”. But this goes way beyond the writings of the Apostle Paul. It goes to our theology of repentance. Repentance, metanoia in greek, means to change your thinking, to think differently, even to exercise the mind. That is what the Welcoming Prayer is. It is tool for repentance, a tool to change one’s thinking.

By sheer coincidence I’ve discovered I’m writing this on the International Day of Peace. I thought it was just that 2 days ago, on Saturday, during our day given to praying for peace at the Monastery, that I was moved to put my thoughts down on paper. But as I look at the website for the International Day of Peace I’m renewed to know I’m just one more person swelling in critical mass to change my thoughts to those of peace.

Shanti!

Hearing Silence

2009-09-15T18:57:00.000-07:00

Br. Charles Reflecting in the Bell Tower

Photo by Rachael Elizabeth Photography

Silence is scary. I see it quite frequently on the faces of those uninitiated in the practice of silence. I always have empathy for them for it causes me to remember my first experience with silence.

I decided to attend a 3 day meditation retreat held at an Ashram in the eastern reaches of San Diego county. That first evening was very unsettling to me. We gathered for the evening meal. Grace was said and then no other words were spoken. From my point of view it seemed people moved through the food line in a zoombie-like fashion. The sound of silverware clanking against plates as people ate put me on edge. Retiring to my room later that evening left me with a great sense of anxiousness. I didn’t know quite what to do with myself. It was a struggle but eventually I got to sleep.

I awoke the next morning facing an entire day of silence. The thought completely overwhelmed me. All I could think of is I have to fix this and I best do it before breakfast. So I bolted. I threw my things together, loaded up the car and headed out before the other retreatants had a chance to notice. It was not my proudest moment. But when you are overwhelmed by a pool of anxiety one does not act in the most reasonable of ways.

It took 2 years before I would try again. But something within me pushed me to give it another go. This time I choose an oceanside retreat with magnificent views of the Pacific Ocean and stunning gardens. It was a place I was already familiar with which gave me comfort at attempting another silent retreat. I felt no real anxiety or discomfort. I was able to settle in and go with the experience. I made it through the 3 days of silence and actually found it enjoyable. Something within me had changed within those 2 years.

As a Benedictine Monk silence is a major part of our communal lives. As friends and family have visited me there have been some interesting, almost comical, reactions to our practice of silence. As my daughter was preparing for her first visit she saw the “Great Silence” listed on our website and asked “what is that?”. “From 9 pm to 9 am there is no talking or noise of any kind” I explained. “You mean I can’t even IM (Instant Message)” she exclaimed! To a twenty-something who’s always connected and forever interruptible the “Great Silence” just did not compute.

One of the most powerful passages in Scripture is when Elijah encounters God at Horeb:

“Go out and stand on the mountain before the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by. Now there was a great wind, so strong that it was splitting mountains and breaking rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of sheer silence.” I Kings 19:11-12

At first it almost seems contradictory that silence would be heard as “sound”. The narrative goes on to detail Elijah’s encounter with God through silence. What impresses me most about this passage is wind, earthquake and fire is all experienced through our 5 physical senses. To come into God’s presence Elijah had to disconnect from his physical senses completely. And that is not so easily done. I know for I’ve tried.

When you live in a Monastery and practice periods of silence on a daily basis you catch on to something very quickly—to cease from talking is not a true practice of silence. Just because we’re not speaking and talking to others does not mean we’re in a state of quiet internally. Our thoughts can be racing, we can still be moving about completing the last tasks of the day, we can be answering e-mails, surfing the web, and yes even IM’ing with friends. None of this equates to the true practice of silence.

The practice of The Great Silence, or external silence, simply allows one to grow into a place of true silence. It is a beginning step. Just a baby step in many ways. But it is a necessary step to gaining inner silence. Quieting our thoughts, entering into a place of contemplation and devotion, concentrating our thoughts in a single focus on God takes spiritual disciplines and practice. I recently heard one of my Brothers speak of how the Monastic practice of silence and solitude continually changes him. What struct me most about his statement was knowing he has been a Monk for almost 40 years now. His statement was really about how the long-term practice of silence only begins to show its fruit after decades of practice.

The sixteenth century mystic, John of the Cross, wrote “silence is God’s first language”. This means silence is the “norm” for God and the place from where he communes most freely with us. The thought of silence being God’s norm completely turned on its head all of my ideas about prayer. By no means does this discount vocal prayers, intercessory prayers, petitions, requests, and thanksgivings. But what I have learned is when I first spend time with God in a deep place of silence all other forms of prayer become much richer and more meaningful. What made the most sense to me as I unpacked the statement “silence is God’s first language” is if I constantly have my own dialogue going on in my head there is no way I can hear God’s still small voice speaking to me. Somehow, some way I must quiet the inner chatter, go within to what John of the Cross referred to as the cave of the heart. Jesus put it this way:

“But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut the door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place...” Mt 6:6

This is where the metaphor of the prayer closet comes from.

Prayer Shawl & Anglican Rosary

Originally Uploaded by Cloister-Walk

I have several tools in my tool box of spiritual disciplines I use to enter a place of silence; inner quiet and stillness, a place of contemplation. The two that top my list are praying the Rosary and Centering Prayer. Praying the Rosary will quiet the frantic racing thoughts and ceaseless conversations going in my head. Centering Prayer and using a sacred word to let go and empty all distracting thoughts is how I enter the “cave of the heart”. It takes me to my secret place, behind closed doors, interiorized in my prayer closet, just God and me.

I’ve journeyed a long way from bolting in fear out of a silent retreat. Why was that initial experience so scary? I had a very real sense that when you stop the outer noise, when you quiet the inner chatter, and you strip away all of the pretenses, distractions and facades we have so carefully constructed around and within us you are left facing your real self. There is probably nothing scarier than facing the real “you”. And why would one want to? Because it is only from that place do we begin to find the true and only God. It is only from that place you hear the sound of “sheer silence”.

Grandmother's Bible

2009-09-02T16:08:00.000-07:00

Originally Uploaded by Cloister Walk

From time to time I like to take my Grandmother’s Bible off the shelf and look through it. I’m always fascinated by what she chose to underline and mark. There are many priceless notes in it. Priceless to me anyway. Yesterday was one of those days I decided to spend some time with her Bible. And I discovered something I hadn’t noticed before. A prayer request. “Pray for the conversion of Madalyn O’Hair.” I was so jazzed to find this. It is totally her. In my minds eye I can see her sitting on her back porch, in her rocking chair, shelling peas, and going on about how godless it is to remove prayer from schools. Just looking at the beauty of the peas she would be shelling would cause her to ask “how could anyone not believe in God”.

The Bible was gifted to me by my Aunt Helen who originally purchased the Bible in 1975 as a Christmas gift for my Grandfather. He was a Baptist preacher and a most beloved one at that. Sometime after his death my Grandmother took it as her Bible. She obviously loved the Pentateuch as there are many verses underlined in red throughout Genesis and Exodus. She also loved Proverbs. I would guess she found the Wisdom Literature key to her spiritual life. After all she had raised 8 children. So much of the gospels are marked it looks as though she went through several pens doing so.

It is the classic Bible of a southern preacher. Black leather binding, thin enough to hold in one hand, yet substantial enough to make your point with from the pulpit. King James Version, Words of Christ in Red printed on the spine. A single red satin ribbon to mark the Sunday scripture. One day I will preach a sermon from this Bible. For now it is a link to both of my grandparents who I loved very much.

One of my strongest memories of her was her constant prayer life. My grandmother was definitely a woman of prayer. The very thought that someone would sue to have prayer removed from public schools would be very unsettling to her. The very notion of someone saying there is no God and being an atheist would send her to her knees. Long before Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens (and their devotees known as the Ditchkins) there was Madalyn Murray O’Hair. America’s most hated woman she came to symbolize atheism and the take-God-out-of-everything movement. But there was at least one woman who cared enough to pray for her—my Grandmother.

One of my favorite Collects from the Book of Common Prayer comes from Proper 28. “Blessed Lord, who caused all holy Scriptures to be written for our learning: Grant us so to hear them, read, mark, learn, and inwardly digest them, that we may embrace and ever hold fast the blessed hope of everlasting life, which you have given us in our Savior Jesus Christ; who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.” Emphasis mine.

Marking up your Bible—margin notes, underlines and highlights—is a very protestant activity. I know my Roman Catholic and high church friends have quite a challenge with this. Marking up Holy Scripture...no way! But in the Baptist church, the church I grew up in, it was how we made the Bible our own. It is lectio divina Baptist style. And it would not be unusual to see, during a Sunday morning sermon, congregants sitting in the pews with their Bible’s open on their laps with pens, pencils and highlighters in hand, and in use.

Now, many years after her death, these markings give me a legacy to reflect back on. As you come to the first blank pages, just inside the front cover, there are four scripture references recorded. Two from the Hebrew scriptures and two from the New Testament:

II Kings 6:16 “Fear not; for they that be with us are more than they that be with them.”

II Chronicles 32:7-8 “Be strong and courageous, be not afraid nor dismayed, for the king of Assyria, nor for all the multitude that is with him; for there be more with us than with him: with him is an arm of flesh; but with us is the Lord our God to help us, and to fight our battles. And the people rested themselves upon the words of Hezekiah, king of Judah.”

Matthew 7:7 “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek and ye shall find; knock, and it shall

be opened unto you:”

Luke 11:9 “And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.”

You see a pretty obvious theme emerge from these passages. Were they her life verse? Did she return to these passages over and over again for strength, encouragement, and guidance? Did she pray these scriptures back to God? My guess is she did—yes to all of the above. And yes, when you look up these references, they too are underlined in red.

I love the Bible. It’s a cliche I know. But I will proudly say it. I know my Grandmother’s legacy to me was giving me an early devotion to scripture. A spiritual legacy I have tremendous gratitude for. I haven’t always loved the Bible. The Bible and I have had our struggles. And I strongly dislike what many people do with the Bible. Today, I read the Bible very differently than the way I did as a child. Though my high regard for scripture has never waned. Prayer and scripture combined is my link to God’s voice speaking within me. Prayer and scripture grounds me in the spiritual journey. If my own prayer life measures up to half of hers, and for that matter, if my scripture life measures up to half of my Grandfathers, I will consider that a great accomplishment.

I find something sweet and enduring in discovering my Grandmother’s prayer for Madalyn Murray O’Hair’s conversion. There really is no evidence that Madalyn O’Hair changed her ways or experienced conversion. The final years of her life are full of mystery and urban legend. We do know however that her son William had a conversion experience. He was actually baptized in a Baptist church no less. Forgive me if I fantasize a bit that he benefitted by proxy from my Grandmother’s prayers.